Crazy Future Predictions

Sandpiper · May 4, 2015

I remember we had one of these last year, and it was loads of fun. So let's strap on our crazy goggles and look into the crystal ball of insanity.

A few to get us started:

- Adelina Sotnikova storms back onto the scene, winning everything... until she gets to Worlds, where her team goes a little too far in the "creative costumes" department. She loses the title by 0.21 after getting a costume deduction.
- Sui/Han plan to become the first team to land throw 4F. Unfortunately, their thunder is stolen by... Savchenko/Massot, who earn the "world's first" label solely due to being earlier in the skate order
- Joshua Farris and Florent Amodio decide to switch programs/styles/costumes. The world explodes.

CanadianSkaterGuy · May 4, 2015

- A triple axel becomes a required element in the women's SP.

- Two different quads becomes a required element in the men's SP.

- Side by side triple axels in pairs

- A singles discipline at Worlds doesn't have Carmen or POTO in it

- Anonymous judging no longer exists :rolleye:

Sam-Skwantch · May 4, 2015

Joshua and Julia get engaged and Schindlers List is retired from ISU competition like an old hockey legends jersey.

Adelina ends her FS with a handstand.

Jason Brown turns hipster and steals Mrs. P's playlist and claims not to be a hipster all the while becoming too cool for even both quads and triples. He only does doubles all season until that becomes cool too and then he lands 3 quads at WC.

Polina switches to dual blades to confuse the tech panel into giving her credit for her flips.

Yuzu switches to golf full time. By coincidence all golfing forums not accustomed to large amounts fan girling and constant Internet posting crash forcing the PGA to be bought out by Google to meet the demand brought on by Yuzu's faithful fans.

Liza will perform without a mumu but instead sets a world record for shiniest most bedazzled outfit ever.

Johhny Weir will praise Liza's costuming and ask for one for Christmas from Tara.

Russian Nationals will actually sell their featured Christmas Decorations live during the broadcast at an internet website www.russian.judges.isu/anonymous

....that is all for now. The ball is becoming less clear.

Rissa · May 4, 2015

CanadianSkaterGuy said:
- A singles discipline at Worlds doesn't have Carmen or POTO in it

No no no. New rule: SP must be done to one of the following: Carmen, POTO, Les Miz, Bolero, Swan Lake.

Mrs. P · May 4, 2015

Sam-Skwantch said:
Jason Brown turns hipster and steals Mrs. P's playlist and claims not to be a hipster all the while becoming too cool for even both quads and triples. He only does doubles all season until that becomes cool too and then he lands 3 quads at WC.

Jason's reading the "What are you listening to now?" thread?! HAHA.

I'm hoping this means at U.S. Nationals, he'll be singing Radiohead songs during his segment with Michael Buckley, LOL. Definitely a step up from Disney! Paranoid Android, please!

My crazy predictions:

--Some pair will somehow skate to African tribal music for their waltz SD.
-- Yuzu's decision to switch to golf full time will provoke Patrick Chan to cancel his comeback plans and try to beat Yuzuru at the Masters tournament or, if nothing else, his ability to wear his extensive golf shirt collection.
-- Nobunari Oda will decided to exit out of retirement because he realized all those television segments he did about Yuzuru not zayaking could be put to good use. He gets that elusive World medal and then retires again so he no longer has to be ironic when explaining the Zayak rule.

StitchMonkey · May 4, 2015

Moria Polonius said:
No no no. New rule: SP must be done to one of the following: Carmen, POTO, Les Miz, Bolero, Swan Lake.

NO! Bring back compulsories!

Every year we rotate through the songs and have a compulsory program that every has to do!

One year everyone does the same POTO, the next the same Carmen program. I mean how could that not be huge hit!

Layback11 · May 4, 2015

Plushenko is the first to test a new artificial titanium spine and thus becomes completely bionic, allowing him to compete again, land quints, and dominate everything until he reaches the age limit for the Olympics (60).

In an ironic twist that redefines women's skating, the senior age limit is upped to 18.

Evan Lysacek returns to competition-WEARING A BEDAZZLED PURPLE MUUMUU (which he probably bought from Liza)!!!

The flutz jump becomes an officially recognized CoP element.

A costuming score is added to the IJS and Florent Amodio, Misha Ge and Jason Brown, to name a few, never win another medal.

Ashley and Gracie switch bodies for a day. Gracie suddenly starts getting edge calls for flutzes and Ashley's PCS drops drastically...

Yulia Lipnitskaya starts a Teenage Russian Figure Skaters Affected By Growth Spurts club and is soon joined by the likes of Elena, Evgenia, etc. in a giant rant-fest about the horrors of adolescence.

Yuna Kim comes back for Pyeongchang to avenge her title when she learns that Adelina will be there, and the two fight to the death.

Mao comes back and she and Liza have an epic Battle of the Triple Axels at worlds.

Johnny wears something normal when he appears for commentary at nationals, and it becomes a viral sensation.

Layback11 · May 4, 2015

Mrs. P said:
My crazy predictions:

--Some pair will somehow skate to African tribal music for their waltz SD.
-- Yuzu's decision to switch to golf full time will provoke Patrick Chan to cancel his comeback plans and try to beat Yuzuru at the Masters tournament or, if nothing else, his ability to wear his extensive golf shirt collection.
-- Nobunari Oda will decided to exit out of retirement because he realized all those television segments he did about Yuzuru not zayaking could be put to good use. He gets that elusive World medal and then retires again so he no longer has to be ironic when explaining the Zayak rule.

On that tangent:

1. The team with the African waltz becomes the next P/C and it is hailed a masterpiece by all.

2. Yuzuru and Patrick duke it out at every golf tournament they can get into until they're senior citizens, then becoming co-commentators at the 2050-something Olympics, by which time sextuple axels are being regularly landed. :dance:

Rissa · May 4, 2015

Layback11 said:
A costuming score is added to the IJS and Florent Amodio, Misha Ge and Jason Brown, to name a few, never win another medal.

Surely you meant: they will never finish below the podium again!

What an awesome idea though!

Johnny wears something normal when he appears for commentary at nationals, and it becomes a viral sensation.

Lenny318 · May 4, 2015

All of the placements and scores at every competition will make perfect sense with no cases of under or inflating scores. The pdf score sheets will be nearly irrelevant except to confirm that what we, as viewers, observed on the ice was reflected in the scores.

silverfoxes · May 4, 2015

Plushenko announces that he's "kind of over the whole competing thing," and now finds more personal fulfillment practicing the art of bonsai than he ever did in skating.

Yuzuru joins Twitter and his first tweet is a plea for "no more **** Poohs on the ice!"

andromache · May 4, 2015

NBC offers same-weekend coverage of all the GP events! Wait a minute...

cheerknithanson said:
http://www.usfsa.org/Story.asp?id=51157&type=media

Finally info on USFSA's website.

sabinfire said:
Hmm, strange.

If this is to be believed, NBC will be carrying same-weekend coverage of all GP events, including the GP Final (TV coverage was delayed by a week last year).

Also, most of the TV coverage of Skate America will be on NBCSN -- which makes this the first time we'll see figure skating on NBCSN since the Sochi Olympics?

Layback11 · May 4, 2015

gallavich said:
Plushenko announces that he's "kind of over the whole competing thing," and now finds more personal fulfillment practicing the art of bonsai than he ever did in skating.

HA! Probably the funniest thing I've seen all day! Imagine the IceNetwork article: "Storied Olympic Champion finds Self through Ancient Art of Bonsai!"

TontoK · May 4, 2015

On the basis of my world-renowned taste, I will be the sole arbiter of acceptable costumes.

I will guard the ice at every competition and inspect all costumes, with unquestioned power to send the skaters away to change or face disqualification.

No more 15 year old girls dressed like 25 year old call girls!

No more feathers and spangles and ridiculous headgear! Skaters take heed: the Rhinestone Police are on the scene!

Hanmgse · May 4, 2015

Layback11 said:
HA! Probably the funniest thing I've seen all day! Imagine the IceNetwork article: "Storied Olympic Champion finds Self through Ancient Art of Bonsai!"

Glorious

slider11 · May 4, 2015

Here's a serious one: Gilles and Poirier take a big step forward in ice dance and are on the podium next year. You heard it here!

chuckm · May 4, 2015

That would make me gag!!!

Interspectator · May 4, 2015

All of Team Japan decides to skate to Carmen except Kozuka and Satoko, who skate to Bolero! :biggrin:

StitchMonkey · May 4, 2015

Mao Asada and Yuzuru are going to start pairs skating together, out of desperation for the next Olympic team event. Yuzuru may also do singles at the same time.

samm22 · May 4, 2015

StitchMonkey said:
Mao Asada and Yuzuru are going to start pairs skating together, out of desperation for the next Olympic team event. Yuzuru may also do singles at the same time.

They will achieve the first side by side triple axel-triple toe combination and will do a throw quint axel, winning the pairs event, with Russia and the US crawling behind them!!! Yuzu lands a quad loop, and a triple axel quad toe combo in his individual free skate and Mao dominates in ladies. Japan wins team event, despite not having a title-winning ice dance team!!! :cheer2:

Crazy Future Predictions

Sandpiper

CanadianSkaterGuy

Sam-Skwantch

“I solemnly swear I’m up to no good”

Rissa

Mrs. P

Uno, Dos, twizzle!

StitchMonkey

Layback11

Layback11

Rissa

Lenny318

silverfoxes

andromache

Layback11

TontoK

Hot Tonto

Hanmgse

slider11

chuckm

Interspectator

StitchMonkey

samm22

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