All or Nothing | Golden Skate

All or Nothing

Myblade

Rinkside
Joined
Sep 1, 2014
I've reached the time in skating where I feel like its time to give it my all, or I should just quit. I'm entering high school, and I have high aspirations in my education. My parents think that I'm not improving in skating, and that I started too late. I just don't have enough time to pour into it.

I still love figure skating, and I don't want to give it up, but I don't know if it is going anywhere. I spent so much time and effort already on skating, and I feel like it'll be going to waste. I also dance, which I used to do competitively, but I quit to skate. Now, my parents say that I have more of a chance of winning competitions and getting recognition in dance, to help with college, instead of figure skating. I know I won't be a professional skater, but I really don't want to quit. But I also feel guilty of using up so much money and time on my skating, and not having substantial results to justify it. My parents #1 is to get me in a good college, and they thought skating could help. But now, they are having doubts

I also don't know if I could go back to dance and just "join" the competitive team.

I feel like the ultimate decision is that if I ever want to be good good at a sport, I have to choose between skating and dancing. And I can't do that. But I also can't dabble in everything and not have results. I'm really confused and kinda depressed. I know this is a decision that only I can make, but I would really appreciate outside advice and just a general idea on how others deal with their problems.
 

MalAssada

Medalist
Joined
Jun 28, 2014
Just because you decide to focus on school it does not mean you have to give up skating. I do have to agree that being 14 and (I think) never competing on national level is an indicator that, well, being a World class athlete isn't a likely probability. From what I know, though, figure skating is not the go to option when trying to get a college scholarship, so maybe their expectations were a little high to begin with.

Could you try going less times to the rink to focus on school? Perhaps instead of learning new skills, you can perfect your current ones.

On a final note, about high school: my experience during it was atypical at best (three different schools in two years due to circunstances beyond my control) but a high achiever sometimes keep up with the courseload, not having to dedicate any more than previously to keep up grades. So, perhaps lower the number of classes until you are settled, then try to increase them.

Good luck!
 

Sam-Skwantch

“I solemnly swear I’m up to no good”
Record Breaker
Joined
Dec 29, 2013
Country
United-States
Learning to coach figure skating in group classes and or private lessons can be a great paying part time job for college students that requires very little hours. That can help offset some of the cost of college and allow for some extra free time to study. If you continue skating there will certainly be many positives to be had so just make a pro con list and go over it with your parents. I've seen late starters go on to have successful coaching careers while they attended college.
 

loopy

Final Flight
Joined
Nov 13, 2012
If you want skating on a college app, you need to focus on testing. Also, synchronized skating would help, where you can work up to senior and get lots of practice for moves in the field tests. See your synchro tot coach about helping with the tiny kid teams. See how skating can be pulled into other areas -organize charity "fun" raisers, be active in the community, put a face to skating off the ice.

Colleges want to see commitment, progress and ability to work in a team as well as show leadership. Skating can be a way to do this.

It is not what you do, as much as it is how you do it.

Skating does not equal money for college. It can help with getting accepted if you show a well rounded application and there is another person who has the same scores and grades as you and does not have an activity, but please don't be under the assumption that skating will get you scholarships.

Nothing is easy. My daughter is also going into high school. We sat down and decided that competitions are few but they help her giving her motivation to go to the rink every day, so it is a cost but also a gain. She doesn't compete with the idea that she is going to be placed at the top. Her focus is testing. She needs to become a gold medalist in moves over the next two years and her junior year she can test out.

Come up with a road map, talk to your coach to see if it is feasible and then discuss it with your parents.
 
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sarama

Medalist
Joined
Apr 23, 2014
I'm Italian and our school-university system is completely different, but maybe I can give you some advice anyway! In my high school experience I can tell you that if you really love what you're doing, you'll find the time and it won't be a burden. My first years of high school I was doing so many extra school activities my classmates thought I was crazy. But everything was going well, so I felt it was right. Until one day I felt completely overwhelmed and I was having sub par results (especially at school). So I stopped doing everything extra, thinking that with more time to study my grades would go up...well they didn't. At that point I chose to start doing again the activities I loved and stop doing what I wasn't truly enjoying, and I didn't care about low grades at subjects I disliked, but focused more on the ones I liked. Well once again my days were super busy, but I felt so much happier and satisfied and I graduated with excellent grades.
Now were those extra activities a waste of money and time? They didn't help me at all to get into college, and they never earned me any money, but they taught me a lot anyway, like how to manage time, how much can I push myself, and they helped me survive high school...so IMHO they were worthy!
So follow your heart and see where it takes you...and remember that it's never too late too change the path you're going, if you don't like it anymore.
And maybe you'll never become a World renowned skater, but you could become the next Kori Ade :biggrin:
P.s. : Sorry for the longest post ever
 

SarahSynchro

Record Breaker
Joined
Mar 7, 2014
Country
Canada
If you really love to skate, don't quit! Dont let starting at an "older" age discourage you either. I didn't start skating until I was nine years old. I never competed beyond the regional level, but I really enjoyed competing, and I did get pretty high up in my tests and learned the majority of my double jumps. Most of my fondest memories of being a teenager involve being on the ice.
 

Violet Bliss

Record Breaker
Joined
Nov 19, 2010
You sound very confused. You need to get clear first.

Don't believe everything you think. Get some answers from your heart.

I bolded your affirmative statements. You sound sure about these.

I've reached the time in skating where I feel like its time to give it my all, or I should just quit. I'm entering high school, and I have high aspirations in my education. My parents think that I'm not improving in skating, and that I started too late. I just don't have enough time to pour into it.

I still love figure skating, and I don't want to give it up, but I don't know if it is going anywhere. I spent so much time and effort already on skating, and I feel like it'll be going to waste. I also dance, which I used to do competitively, but I quit to skate. Now, my parents say that I have more of a chance of winning competitions and getting recognition in dance, to help with college, instead of figure skating. I know I won't be a professional skater, but I really don't want to quit. But I also feel guilty of using up so much money and time on my skating, and not having substantial results to justify it. My parents #1 is to get me in a good college, and they thought skating could help. But now, they are having doubts

I also don't know if I could go back to dance and just "join" the competitive team.

I feel like the ultimate decision is that if I ever want to be good good at a sport, I have to choose between skating and dancing. And I can't do that. But I also can't dabble in everything and not have results. I'm really confused and kinda depressed. I know this is a decision that only I can make, but I would really appreciate outside advice and just a general idea on how others deal with their problems.

And then there are many statements you are unsure or confused about, many of which are because of unclear objectives and many of which are because of mind conditioning. Open your mind too and question them.

Are all the pressures real? Are some of them arbitrary or self imposed? Is it really all or nothing? Do you really have to make a decision, right now?

You can't seem to even mention the joy of skating. Instead, you need to justify the continuation and feel guilty about the costs and not meeting your parents' expectations. The objectives seem to be "substantial results" meaning winning competitions and somehow helping you with your college education which both you and your parents value highly. And you don't seem to have any academic issues.

Can you detach your education goals from skating? Can skating be a reward rather than a fail proof investment in your education? It can be an investment in other aspects of your life. Or a balance and diversion from your studies. Talk to your parents. They need to get clear too. Do they somehow want you to do just well enough in a sport so you could get scholarships with it but not to really excel such that higher education may even be delayed? Can they and/or you afford college education nonetheless? Academic scholarships? Even student loans? Can you skate for joy and character development regardless of "results"? While it's good to plan for your life, it's not all about jobs and security. It's often not even what you plan. What we all have is now and to be happy. You need to feed your soul and be your authentic self, or you can't even have real success.

Are you worthy of pure joy? Do you have the passion for skating with or without the top level talent? Do you love skating with or without winning competitions? Is it worth the troubles? Get your honest answers from your heart. Then you will be clear and will find a resolution to your dilemma.

Life is about choices. Choose your bliss. Remember you can always choose again.

eta. I hope you'll find inspiration in Steve Jobs' 2005 Stanford Commencement Address
 
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Princessroja

Record Breaker
Joined
Jun 22, 2015
Country
United-States
You sound very confused. You need to get clear first.

Don't believe everything you think. Get some answers from your heart.

I bolded your affirmative statements. You sound sure about these.



And then there are many statements you are unsure or confused about, many of which are because of unclear objectives and many of which are because of mind conditioning. Open your mind too and question them.

Are all the pressures real? Are some of them arbitrary or self imposed? Is it really all or nothing? Do you really have to make a decision, right now?

You can't seem to even mention the joy of skating. Instead, you need to justify the continuation and feel guilty about the costs and not meeting your parents' expectations. The objectives seem to be "substantial results" meaning winning competitions and somehow helping you with your college education which both you and your parents value highly. And you don't seem to have any academic issues.

Can you detach your education goals from skating? Can skating be a reward rather than a fail proof investment in your education? It can be an investment in other aspects of your life. Or a balance and diversion from your studies. Talk to your parents. They need to get clear too. Do they somehow want you to do just well enough in a sport so you could get scholarships with it but not to really excel such that higher education may even be delayed? Can they and/or you afford college education nonetheless? Academic scholarships? Even student loans? Can you skate for joy and character development regardless of "results"? While it's good to plan for your life, it's not all about jobs and security. It's often not even what you plan. What we all have is now and to be happy. You need to feed your soul and be your authentic self, or you can't even have real success.

Are you worthy of pure joy? Do you have the passion for skating with or without the top level talent? Do you love skating with or without winning competitions? Is it worth the troubles? Get your honest answers from your heart. Then you will be clear and will find a resolution to your dilemma.

Life is about choices. Choose your bliss. Remember you can always choose again.

Great advice, Violet Bliss. The thing that stood out for me in your post, OP, is the emphasis on skating being a means to a college scholarship. Sure, it might get you one. It might not. But personally, I'd say that should absolutely not be the sole reason you continue or don't. If financially it's too much strain, I can understand that; I almost had to quit ballet when I was in high school because my family was really hard up (I didn't, and it did get me a nice scholarship into my dance major, but I digress). I'd recommend reevaluating why you're skating and/or dancing, since both can give you an awful lot without producing the kind of "results" that earn major money or competitive fame, and then having a good talk with your parents about it. I'm a huge, huge, HUGE proponent of education and college, but it isn't the sum total of your existence. You never know how dance or skating or whatever the extracurricular activity of choice is going to come around and be useful and/or enjoyable later in life. For all you know, you could go to Harvard for engineering or law and not be able to find a job... and wind up supporting yourself through coaching. The more skills you have the more marketable you are, and not everything you put time into has to make you money in coming years. Being comfortable on stage, gaining confidence, learning to follow directions, physical fitness... there's a zillion different great reasons to do a sport or an art or both without it becoming a money in money out equation. (And you can return to skating as an adult too even if you decide to stop now; I just started (I'm in my mid-20s) simply because I like it, and it's added a lot to my life already.)

I hope you're able to find a solution that works for you and your family! Violet Bliss is 100% right--very few choices are completely irreversible, and you're quite young, so don't let the stress of life decisions (this one or in general) erase your joy and happiness.
 
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