Hi! Call me Skylar. I'm 15 and a half years old, and I'm male. I live in America. With an ice rink just 20 minutes away.
So, where to begin.
A little boy watching the Olympics, how about that. This little boy loves the figure skaters on TV, bubbling with excitement as a women is cast into the air by her partner, then caught perfectly. As those skaters skaters somehow manage to fly, and in perfect harmony. And, there he has it. His first dream.
Sorry, being dramatic xD.
So, I think by the second time i saw these skaters, I was hooked. I wanted to do that. I can't remember too well, but i think I inquired about it. I was told no, but the reason is what bugs me so much. It wasn't said that it was too much money, or work really, or even a flat out just "no". It was because my (parents) religion[which has been called a cult by many people] requires you to be fully devoted to it. Also, because the Olympics are patriotic (being patriotic is a nono in this religion), I was told that it wouldn't be a good idea to go anyways. I didn't know figure skating was a thing outside of the Olympics and Disney on Ice, and was so young, that I couldn't and, didn't even really want to make an argument. It didn't come up again. And...hasn't really, to be honest. I always remember that little boy who loved figure skating though. I would, and still do pretend skate on my own, haha. The whole socks on wooden floor fun. I would imagine I'm in a fantasy world, with different powers, but every time the ability to figure skate somehow wiggled its way into it. I even remember me playing the figure skating levels on Mario and Sonic Canada Olympics over and over again, but that doesn't really mean much I suppose haha. Maybe none of that does, I'm not sure. That's why I'm here.
So. Now last month, I began watching the infamous Yuri!!! on Ice. And it feels like everything's come back to me.
I held off of watching the show because I knew it "was gay". Religion and gay don't mix well. Especially when that's what I am, and when I stupidly out myself to my parents, but that's very besides the point.
I finally got around to watching it in April. And I was left amazed. As many were haha. I play piano, and the anime Your Lie in April inspired me to take it back up, and I am so happy I did. I learned songs I probably wouldn't have if I didn't watch that show (nothing outstanding, but still). I already loved, and still do love, the piano before that, so Your Lie in April (a music anime) spoke to me. Now, YOI has had the same effect it feels like, but this time I haven't done a thing to take a step toward this dream.
It feels like a lot of repressed emotions and dreams have been dug up by this show, and now it is constantly on my mind. I want to be on the ice. Sure, I'd love to have a fantastic performance with Quads and Triples, but at the moment, even being frequently stumbling across the ice would be wonderful. I just want to try. And that's where I went wrong.. again. By chance, my mom saw a song with the words "Yuri on Ice" in the title, and she said I was grabby with phone when she asked about it. Then, when I asked to please go ice skating about a week later, she remembered and decided to look up YOI on pintrest of all places. Of course, she was bombarded with "gay things", lol. So, she confronts me about if I watched the show, I lie my way out of it, bringing up how when I was little I liked ice skating. And that's where I've been for weeks. I want to ask, I probably will soon. Enough time has passed where she might not be so quick to jump on me about it. But it was just so crushing. She dared to even call the sport "Gay". Which I don't believe it is, nor any sport is to be honest. Anyways, haha, sorry for a rant about my personal life.
So now, I just feel so stuck. Of course, I feel already too old to start at the age I am, but that's the not worst part. I have to wait to even begin perusing this until I can move out, so for years to come. And then, who knows if life will even allow me to then.
And right now, this dream is like a star right in front of me, that I look up to throughout the day and night, easy to see and inspiring. But years from now, I don't know if it will be there. And that just doesn't feel fair. Sure, if it is something I really want to do, I should be willing to put in the work to achieve it, but what work can I do when it feels like I'm helpless. I would hate for it to die, again, without it even being given a chance.
So, here I am. It feels like a dream has been reawakened, and I want to pursue it, to at least see if I could stick with it. Of course I can say yes I will definitely stick with figure skating, but many say the same thing with different passions, but prove otherwise. I would at least like to be able to try. But, at the very best, I would be able to get a private coach months from now, and probably only be able to go to a lesson once a week, with limited practice time otherwise. And even that's pretty unrealistic for my situation. Hopefully I will at least get to be on the ice somewhat regularly in the future, because I have only been to an ice rink less than 10 times before.
Olympics is out of the question. Of course. I've learned that much. It may be dumb, all of this may be dumb, but I am fairly upset that the odds are against me to cleanly learn how to do a triple of every jump. I know I don't need fancy jumps to move someone in a crowd of people, but it really feels like I won't. But maybe that's all the Olympics videos I've been watching and YOI getting too me.
So. What can I do. What can I do when I am 15 and want to start skating, but most likely wont be able to semi seriously start till age 18-20. Is there anything I can do while I wait? Is there any way I can keep this dream alive? Even though that most likely depends on me. What can I do with this dream that I so desperately don't want to lose.
I need to look up the different requirements for competitions, and skating tests, all the technical things. I know that much. But is there anything else?
This is all just very frustrating and confusing. It leaves me feeling regret over not trying to push it younger, and upset, well even more upset, that I had to be born in to the family that I did.
Thank you for reading this very long, probably stupid rant. I hope I am not just being an angsty dramatic teen haha. Please if I am, tell me nicely lol.
Please answer my, confusing questions, and ask me some if you don't know what I mean or are confused.
Thank you once again, I hope you all have a fantastic day or night. And to you skaters, please stick with this. It is the most fantastic sport in my opinion. You all look beautiful.
EDIT: If this is posted in the wrong area, please let me know. And let me know how to fix it. Thanks!!
So, where to begin.
A little boy watching the Olympics, how about that. This little boy loves the figure skaters on TV, bubbling with excitement as a women is cast into the air by her partner, then caught perfectly. As those skaters skaters somehow manage to fly, and in perfect harmony. And, there he has it. His first dream.
Sorry, being dramatic xD.
So, I think by the second time i saw these skaters, I was hooked. I wanted to do that. I can't remember too well, but i think I inquired about it. I was told no, but the reason is what bugs me so much. It wasn't said that it was too much money, or work really, or even a flat out just "no". It was because my (parents) religion[which has been called a cult by many people] requires you to be fully devoted to it. Also, because the Olympics are patriotic (being patriotic is a nono in this religion), I was told that it wouldn't be a good idea to go anyways. I didn't know figure skating was a thing outside of the Olympics and Disney on Ice, and was so young, that I couldn't and, didn't even really want to make an argument. It didn't come up again. And...hasn't really, to be honest. I always remember that little boy who loved figure skating though. I would, and still do pretend skate on my own, haha. The whole socks on wooden floor fun. I would imagine I'm in a fantasy world, with different powers, but every time the ability to figure skate somehow wiggled its way into it. I even remember me playing the figure skating levels on Mario and Sonic Canada Olympics over and over again, but that doesn't really mean much I suppose haha. Maybe none of that does, I'm not sure. That's why I'm here.
So. Now last month, I began watching the infamous Yuri!!! on Ice. And it feels like everything's come back to me.
I held off of watching the show because I knew it "was gay". Religion and gay don't mix well. Especially when that's what I am, and when I stupidly out myself to my parents, but that's very besides the point.
I finally got around to watching it in April. And I was left amazed. As many were haha. I play piano, and the anime Your Lie in April inspired me to take it back up, and I am so happy I did. I learned songs I probably wouldn't have if I didn't watch that show (nothing outstanding, but still). I already loved, and still do love, the piano before that, so Your Lie in April (a music anime) spoke to me. Now, YOI has had the same effect it feels like, but this time I haven't done a thing to take a step toward this dream.
It feels like a lot of repressed emotions and dreams have been dug up by this show, and now it is constantly on my mind. I want to be on the ice. Sure, I'd love to have a fantastic performance with Quads and Triples, but at the moment, even being frequently stumbling across the ice would be wonderful. I just want to try. And that's where I went wrong.. again. By chance, my mom saw a song with the words "Yuri on Ice" in the title, and she said I was grabby with phone when she asked about it. Then, when I asked to please go ice skating about a week later, she remembered and decided to look up YOI on pintrest of all places. Of course, she was bombarded with "gay things", lol. So, she confronts me about if I watched the show, I lie my way out of it, bringing up how when I was little I liked ice skating. And that's where I've been for weeks. I want to ask, I probably will soon. Enough time has passed where she might not be so quick to jump on me about it. But it was just so crushing. She dared to even call the sport "Gay". Which I don't believe it is, nor any sport is to be honest. Anyways, haha, sorry for a rant about my personal life.
So now, I just feel so stuck. Of course, I feel already too old to start at the age I am, but that's the not worst part. I have to wait to even begin perusing this until I can move out, so for years to come. And then, who knows if life will even allow me to then.
And right now, this dream is like a star right in front of me, that I look up to throughout the day and night, easy to see and inspiring. But years from now, I don't know if it will be there. And that just doesn't feel fair. Sure, if it is something I really want to do, I should be willing to put in the work to achieve it, but what work can I do when it feels like I'm helpless. I would hate for it to die, again, without it even being given a chance.
So, here I am. It feels like a dream has been reawakened, and I want to pursue it, to at least see if I could stick with it. Of course I can say yes I will definitely stick with figure skating, but many say the same thing with different passions, but prove otherwise. I would at least like to be able to try. But, at the very best, I would be able to get a private coach months from now, and probably only be able to go to a lesson once a week, with limited practice time otherwise. And even that's pretty unrealistic for my situation. Hopefully I will at least get to be on the ice somewhat regularly in the future, because I have only been to an ice rink less than 10 times before.
Olympics is out of the question. Of course. I've learned that much. It may be dumb, all of this may be dumb, but I am fairly upset that the odds are against me to cleanly learn how to do a triple of every jump. I know I don't need fancy jumps to move someone in a crowd of people, but it really feels like I won't. But maybe that's all the Olympics videos I've been watching and YOI getting too me.
So. What can I do. What can I do when I am 15 and want to start skating, but most likely wont be able to semi seriously start till age 18-20. Is there anything I can do while I wait? Is there any way I can keep this dream alive? Even though that most likely depends on me. What can I do with this dream that I so desperately don't want to lose.
I need to look up the different requirements for competitions, and skating tests, all the technical things. I know that much. But is there anything else?
This is all just very frustrating and confusing. It leaves me feeling regret over not trying to push it younger, and upset, well even more upset, that I had to be born in to the family that I did.
Thank you for reading this very long, probably stupid rant. I hope I am not just being an angsty dramatic teen haha. Please if I am, tell me nicely lol.
Please answer my, confusing questions, and ask me some if you don't know what I mean or are confused.
Thank you once again, I hope you all have a fantastic day or night. And to you skaters, please stick with this. It is the most fantastic sport in my opinion. You all look beautiful.
EDIT: If this is posted in the wrong area, please let me know. And let me know how to fix it. Thanks!!
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