new article about Yuna and her mom

gocaroline · Jun 10, 2009

Just read this interesting article, I don't know whether this is the right place to post, feel free to move it if moderators have other idea.

http://www.nytimes.com/2009/06/10/world/asia/10iht-skater.html?_r=1&ref=global-home

I am so happy for Yuna's achievement after all those years' hardwork. And it's interesting that the article quoted Yuna said: “I wouldn’t let my daughter take up figure skating,” she said, when asked whether she would follow her own mother’s path. “I know how hard this life is.”

pippa · Jun 10, 2009

After reading that article, I don't know whether I feel more sorry for YuNa or for her sister. One is pressured constantly to succeed for her mother's honor, and the other is told her goals are unimportant and only her sister matters. Really sad.

gocaroline · Jun 10, 2009

Yes I feel sorry for her sister, and her dad too. In a way, the whole family has sacrificed a lot in order to focus all energy and resource to help Yuna's skating career. I wonder whether that's common in families with kids skating. I do think for every successful skater like Yuna, there must be thousands of young skaters who didn't end up successful in skating due to many reasons, and in lots of cases has nothing to do with the talent, but resource.

bekalc · Jun 10, 2009

I feel bad that Yu-na's fathers financial contribution is rarely mentioned. And I truly don't understand why the mother couldn't have someone else go to the match and attend the other daughter's graduation. Her other daughter is still fairly young enough though to somewhat pursue singing. Why not donate some of the financial resources to that now if the girl desires. Surely she's owed that.

LeCygne · Jun 10, 2009

I wasn't even aware that Yu-Na had a sister... But really, I don't like the tone of this article or the way it portrays Yu-Na's family. I don't deny the amount of sacrifice they've made for her skating career. I have no way of knowing how it really is with them, if the dad and sister really are neglected that way, but the article certainly is not a tribute to Asian culture, to say the least.

evangeline · Jun 10, 2009

Thank you for posting, that was a very poignant article about how much sacrifice goes into producing a skater, even one as talented as Yu-Na. And I don't think that this is exactly uncommon among skating families, Asian or not--I remember reading about how both the Kwans and the Lipinskis had to split up their families to facilitate training. Tara and her mother, for example, lived in Detroit while Tara's father stayed in Texas.

Medusa · Jun 10, 2009

gocaroline said:
I do think for every successful skater like Yuna, there must be thousands of young skaters who didn't end up successful in skating due to many reasons...

That is the scary part. Kim is successful now, a millionaire, famous in her homecountry. But all those kids who don't manage to achieve what she achieved? I remember there was one article on Kim in 2004 or 2005 where she said that she hates skating. In the end everything payed off, all the hard work. But imagine if it hadn't payed off? Imagine the tension between all family members (there might be tension anyway) if they sacrifice everything for a little girl's career - and it doesn't pay off?

Lang Lang also gave interesting interviews, that portray something similar. Here is an article about how he spent his childhood.

When finally rejected by that teacher—on a dreadful day when they bicycled through rain mixed with sand that had blown in from the Gobi Desert—his father ordered Lang Lang to jump off the balcony or take an overdose of pills. Instead, Lang Lang tried to destroy his hands by punching walls, screaming, “I hate my hands. I hate you. I hate the piano.” Though restrained by his father, he refused to touch the piano for weeks.

shallwedansu · Jun 10, 2009

An off topic question, but why is it that dads are seemingly more involved when it comes to golf and similarly, moms with skating? I'm not saying that's the case everywhere, but we often hear "golf dads" and "skating moms" more often than the opposites.

janetfan · Jun 10, 2009

Medusa said:
. But imagine if it hadn't payed off? Imagine the tension between all family members (there might be tension anyway) if they sacrifice everything for a little girl's career - and it doesn't pay off?
QUOTE]

Good points. I would go with the "there might be tension anyway" thought but I think many families are filled with tension for any number of reasons.
I find this excerpt uncomfortable reading but it also sounds pretty honest. And we are not reading the whole book. There may be many wonderful moments filled with love, puppies, frisbees, and marching bands for all we know.
I know this is about Yuna, or a mother's drive and ambition to create "Yuna the skating champion" " but unfortunately many other skaters and their families have made great sacrifices too. It seems to go with the territiory and be part of the sport.
I think their are cultural differences to consider and as much as I admire Yuna I don't see myself becoming a fan of her mom anytime soon. The excerpt makes her sound so one dimensional and selfish.

seniorita · Jun 10, 2009

while I know many cases of successful skaters's families been through a lot to achieve their ultimate goals of their children, this article is sad, i dont know about who i feel bad more, yuna or her sister. Mum is like most mums but..
Strangely all this pressure must be on her but I dont see it at Yuna when she skates

Ginask8s · Jun 10, 2009

seniorita said:
while I know many cases of successful skaters's families been through a lot to achieve their ultimate goals of their children, this article is sad, i dont know about who i feel bad more, yuna or her sister. Mum is like most mums but..
Strangely all this pressure must be on her but I dont see it at Yuna when she skates

When she skates she forgets .

shallwedansu · Jun 10, 2009

Yu-Na's mom is selfish? :disagree: Why don't you try raising a daughter who happens to be one of the most popular figures in your country. Let's see how your family turns out. Geez! Give her a break. I'm sure Yu-Na's sister missed having her mom and sister around, but from what I've heard, her sister is doing just fine now. I asked this question at YKF and IIRC, she's a nurse.

Wrlmy · Jun 10, 2009

AFAIK, skaters' families make so much sacrifice regardless of nationality. I don't like how this article made it seem like it is a phenomenon unique to Asian culture. I feel bad for Yuna's sister, but I'd say half the population have issues with overshadowing siblings. Stage moms are everywhere. Hello soccer mom?

janetfan · Jun 10, 2009

shallwedansu said:
Yu-Na's mom is selfish? :disagree: Why don't you try raising a daughter who happens to be one of the most popular figures in your country. Let's see how your family turns out. Geez! Give her a break. I'm sure Yu-Na's sister missed having her mom and sister around, but from what I've heard, her sister is doing just fine now. I asked this question at YKF and IIRC, she's a nurse.

What do you mean "give her a break?" I thought my reply was considerate enough and recognized that other skating families have made similar sacrifices.
I am not Korean - but felt compelled to point out that there are cultural differences to consider.
If you want me to say how nice it is for a mom to ignore one of her children while she was fanatically pursuing her own dream through the other child - then you will have a long wait. I am glad to hear Yuna's sister, a child basically abandoned by her own mother is doing better now.
And while we are at it - give me a break OK.

evangeline · Jun 10, 2009

I just found this article (http://english.donga.com/srv/service.php3?biid=2004021114318&path_dir=20040211) from 2004 and I think I better understand why Yu-Na felt that way when she was younger--the pressure must have been crushing.

“What do I really want to do? I want to hang out with my friends. What don’t I like to do? My mom would scold me if I say this. Frankly, I hate skating. It’s so tiresome. I’m sick of it.”

seniorita · Jun 10, 2009

well she was too young back then, but it is sad to hear she hated skating, it must have been frustrating for her to train and hope especially coming from non traditional skating country.

jyshin · Jun 10, 2009

Interestingly, I did once surfed around the internet to find out who Yuna's father was. Because I did wonder, too, how Yuna's family coped with such sacrifice. I remember reading about her father saying, "I would not have gone through all the sacrifice if I wasn't deeply convinced that Yuna was to become a world class figure skater." Also, he made it clear to the question, what he thinks about Yuna's mother getting all the credit, "I simply do not like to be exposed to the media. That's all."
Yuna's sister was taken care by the father. The couple thought that both daughters needed equal attention, so each parent decided to take care of one of the daughters. Besides, providing for the family, it sounded like, the father did everything that Korean mothers would usually do for Yuna's sister, i.e., cooking, cleaning, checking homework, etc.
My impression is that Yuna herself and her family all understood that she had a rare talent that needed support. I also got to admire how they were able to keep the family as one under such pressure, which I think of it as my inspiration^^.

Ms.Anthrope · Jun 10, 2009

YuNa's mom sounds just like hundreds of tennis parents I see, and I don't see this as a cultural phenomenon or cultural difference. The only difference would be that certain sports seem to be in fashion whenever the country gets a superstar in that discipline.

I grew up playing tennis & am still involved in tennis quite a bit. Most of you have no idea what the world of junior tennis is like. Many top flight junior tennis players are home schooled or sent off to tennis academies in different state, colleges are already watching you when you're only 13 or 14 years old, companies come knocking on your door to "sponsor" you, and agents already practically know your entire bio. Same goes for little league baseball as well.

The article makes it sound like YuNa's mom is some unusual breed of obsessed parent, but she is no more obsessed or dedicated than some of the parents I know at my tennis club.

Mikoto · Jun 10, 2009

I have read similar articles on Korean News Papers, so this seems correct. I don't like its tone though.

And yes, unfortunately, sacrificing families for skaters is quite common, but reading this article, it sounds like that Mrs. Park is next mama Chin(of course I have no idea about Mrs. Chin personally).

hongligl · Jun 10, 2009

Well, it's hard to say which way is better, pushy or lay-back style. I'm a lay-back mom and only let my daughter do what she wants to do. She picked her hobbies and I just paid for them, no pushing. She's doing fine. I asked my daughter how about if I pushed her a little bit when she was younger in some areas. She said she might just have done them and would be happy about that now. So if I decided to have another child I would choose the other style, which the child might not be as happy when she was young, but grateful when grown up.

new article about Yuna and her mom

gocaroline

pippa

gocaroline

bekalc

LeCygne

evangeline

Medusa

shallwedansu

janetfan

Match Penalty

seniorita

Ginask8s

shallwedansu

Wrlmy

janetfan

Match Penalty

evangeline

seniorita

jyshin

Ms.Anthrope

Mikoto

hongligl

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