How Best to Handle a Coach Change?

iceskating21 · Jun 18, 2018

I checked some official website such as USFS about switching coaches. Some websites said, I should inform my present coach that we are leaving *before* I look for perspective coaches. Is it true?
I had planned to talk to some coaches first. Although it's informal, I may mention the intention of switching, our expectation, their expectations and schedules, etc. And then we can set a trial lesson or two. I had thought I could tell my present coach after I have a decision. If I look for someone before telling my coach, is it immoral?

Any other tip is appreciated.

Ic3Rabbit · Jun 18, 2018

Talk to the skating director and have them help you find a new coach. The current one is not what you want or need.

concorde · Jun 18, 2018

Changing coaches is never easy.

Do you have an idea of which coach you want? Do you know that new coach has time for your skater?

jf12 · Jun 18, 2018

At the end of the day you're the one paying the bills. You should extremely politely thank your old coach for the 'recommendation' (really lay it on thick) and let her know that you will set up some trial lessons with her suggested new coach to see if it's good fit (unless you really don't think it would be) - then inform her that you'll be setting up trial lessons with several other coaches too. Then, you should actually do that, decode which coach is best yourself, and then inform her when you'll be stopping lessons with her and starting with the new coach.

VegMom · Jun 18, 2018

It's always tricky to balance expectations with reality. It is worth remembering that progress is rarely linear. There are always ups and downs with any coach.

If you keep everything positive and friendly then switching should not be a problem. Just don't make it a habit because you don't want to be known as a parent who keeps switching coaches. What happens when coaches think you won't stick with them very long is that they don't invest much time or energy into your kid.

Also, it's worth remembering that some skaters have multiple coaches. They 'team train' or one coach works on things like moves in the field while the other works on freeskate. So maybe that's an option.

sandraskates · Jun 18, 2018

It's the nature of the coaching business that some students will want a coaching change at some point. It happens a lot - lose a student, gain a student.

Listen to all the great advice you've been given here and make that change for the good of your child and your psyche.

Arwen17 · Jun 18, 2018

VegMom said:
Also, it's worth remembering that some skaters have multiple coaches. They 'team train' or one coach works on things like moves in the field while the other works on freeskate. So maybe that's an option.

yeah skaters at our rink do this all the time. They have a coach they work with on MIF and another on jumps/spins. Sometimes, if there's scheduling conflicts and the skater wants more weekly lessons, they may have two different coaches both working on jumps/spins and the only reason they do it is because it was the only way to make the schedule work for everyone involved.

iceskating21 · Jun 19, 2018

Our current coach doesn't like the idea of "co-coaching" at all. So it's not an option.

silver.blades · Jun 19, 2018

Communicating with your current coach about your concerns was the right thing to do even if you don't think it was. When dealing with coaching and considering coaching changes, you always want to be completely transparent with your current coach and any new coaches you approach. If team teaching is not an option with your current coach, then they have no say in who you move on to next. Yes, you want to be as civil as possible, but ultimately, you are the one paying for the service, so you have final say.

I'm a coach myself and it is never easy to have a skater leave, however, any coach who is professional, and IMO worth working with, will understand the need for change. Don't let your current coach bully you into going with the coach of their choice. Approach the club administrator or coaches rep if you are having problems.

In the end, as long as you settle any outstanding bills, inform your current coach that you are moving to a new coach and tell your new coach who you're previous coach was so they can confirm that everything is settled with the old coach, you have done your due diligence and your ethical duty. Coaching changes are part of the job and as long as everything is done above board, then you have every right to move to someone who better suits your child's needs.

Also a side note, which may be over stepping, but here it is. I'd be wary of any coach who is steadfast against team coaching or at least using other coaches for assistance here and there. No one is good at teaching everything and sometimes, even when you've had success teaching a skill in the past, your method doesn't click with the skater in front of you. Sending a skater to another coach, even just once and awhile is extremely beneficial to skater development. Any coach who doesn't see that is missing an important training tool.

Ic3Rabbit · Jun 21, 2018

iceskating21 · Jun 22, 2018

jf12 said:
At the end of the day you're the one paying the bills. You should extremely politely thank your old coach for the 'recommendation' (really lay it on thick) and let her know that you will set up some trial lessons with her suggested new coach to see if it's good fit (unless you really don't think it would be) - then inform her that you'll be setting up trial lessons with several other coaches too. Then, you should actually do that, decode which coach is best yourself, and then inform her when you'll be stopping lessons with her and starting with the new coach.

I don't know that coach. It seems she has a couple of good students. I don't have much good impression about her either, because she never talks or nods to me in the rink even after my coach made the announcement. Although that's not an important criteria for coach, it does not seem very positive to me.

sandraskates · Jun 22, 2018

iceskating21 said:
I don't know that coach. It seems she has a couple of good students. So I guess she is a good one although not the best one. I don't have much good impression about her either, because she never talks or nods to me in the rink even after my coach made the announcement. Even if we see her 4 days a week in the rink, we never had any eye contact. Although that's not an important criteria for coach, it does not seem very positive to me.

Anyway the problem is, our current coach said she will pass my daughter to the future coach after 2 years or so. 2 years is very long in my opinion. Now you can see how I am trapped here. Is it worth to annoy at least 2 coaches for 2 years?

iceskating21, unless you have paid for 2 years of coaching services to the current coach or signed some sort of contract for 2 years, you are NOT trapped.
And you are not bound by any law or skating tenet to change to the coach that you have a bad feeling about - although you may want to try her out.

It is always uncomfortable to make a coaching change but skaters and parents do it all the time. The dialogue suggestions by the other posters are spot-on - polite but firm. Then make that change. The skating director may also be able to point you in the right directions. But you are not trapped.

jf12 · Jun 22, 2018

iceskating21 said:
Anyway the problem is, our current coach said she will pass my daughter to the future coach after 2 years or so. 2 years is very long in my opinion. Now you can see how I am trapped here. Is it worth to annoy at least 2 coaches for 2 years?

You have to think about what is the worst case scenario here? If you do your best to be transparent and polite, and she gets angry, so what? If the 2nd coach gets angry that you didn't want to try her, she doesn't even make eye contact with you, so how could she be angry at you? Are you worried that no coaches at all will want to accept thousands of dollars to teach your daughter? If the 1st coach is so interested to keep her as a student, that doesn't seem likely.

iceskating21 · Jun 22, 2018

Maybe you are right.

OK, I really have a question, how do I approach other coaches? Just stop by to say "hi, may I have a trial lesson with you?". Then they may ask whom I work with now and why do we want to change. What shall I say? Besides the trail class, how to tell whether a coach is a good fit? Generally how long after the trial class should I tell them yes or no?

On the other hand, how do I tell my coach? Whatever reason I say, she will promise she will make it. Then what's the excuse?

sandraskates · Jun 22, 2018

iceskating21 said:
Maybe you are right. Nothing they can do with me.

OK, I really have a question, how do I approach other coaches? Just stop by to say "hi, may I have a trial lesson with you?". Then they may ask whom I work with now and why do we want to change. What shall I say? Besides the trail class, how to tell whether a coach is a good fit? Generally how long after the trial class should I tell them yes or no?

On the other hand, how do I tell my coach? Whatever reason I say, she will promise she will make it. Then what's the excuse?

Basically, what you wrote that I bolded is a good start. Introduce yourself and be friendly! Really - coaches are used to people coming up to them and asking for lessons. That's how they get their students (and thus their income).

Let the potential coach know that you're seeking a change and would like a trial lesson to see if there is a good fit for your daughter.

The coach will ask about your daughter - what level she is, what she is working on, goals, etc. They may ask about the current situation but you can just say that you're feeling it's time for a change. Don't speak badly about your current coach.

Ask your daughter if there is coach that she watches and seems to like. And you never know, the coach you approach may have wanted to teach your daughter and now has the opportunity to do so.

When you find that fit, you can just say the same thing to the old coach, "It was time for a change."
You can do this. Let us know how it goes (probably easier than you think).

iceskating21 · Jun 23, 2018

We are not a big rink. Total number of the coaches maybe less than 10 and the ones we often see is about 5. Do you think those coaches chat about each other's students?

iceskating21 · Jun 23, 2018

jf12 said:
You have to think about what is the worst case scenario here? If you do your best to be transparent and polite, and she gets angry, so what? If the 2nd coach gets angry that you didn't want to try her, she doesn't even make eye contact with you, so how could she be angry at you? Are you worried that no coaches at all will want to accept thousands of dollars to teach your daughter? If the 1st coach is so interested to keep her as a student, that doesn't seem likely.

She has been teaching here for 20 years, knowing everyone. Her husband is doing administration in the rink. Based on how she told me about some other coaches,I feel that there are "politics" between the coaches, although I don't want to be involved.

She actually has some good reputation. That's why I always try to convince myself she is a good coach. But I have to say our goals definitely don't match.

Ic3Rabbit · Jun 23, 2018

Then, based on all this new info, go to the skating director and have a chat (as I mentioned in my first post), they will be able to help you and deal with it in a less messy way.

Good luck!

sandraskates · Jun 23, 2018

iceskating21 said:
She has been teaching here for 20 years, knowing everyone. Her husband is doing administration in the rink. Based on how she told me about some other coaches,I feel that there are "politics" between the coaches, although I don't want to be involved.

She actually has some good reputation. That's why I always try to convince myself she is a good coach. But I have to say our goals definitely don't match.

In my longtime experience, there are "politics" at every rink - no matter how small or big, between coaches, between club officials and between management.

Stay out of the drama, take the high road and do what you think is best for your daughter. And also keep in mind that there are times when skaters decide to return to their original coach. This happens too. It's OK!

iceskating21 · Jul 20, 2018

jf12 said:
You have to think about what is the worst case scenario here? If you do your best to be transparent and polite, and she gets angry, so what? If the 2nd coach gets angry that you didn't want to try her, she doesn't even make eye contact with you, so how could she be angry at you? Are you worried that no coaches at all will want to accept thousands of dollars to teach your daughter? If the 1st coach is so interested to keep her as a student, that doesn't seem likely.

The 2nd coach is the leading coach of the Synchronized team that my daughter wants to join. So I don't want to annoy her.

How Best to Handle a Coach Change?

iceskating21

Ic3Rabbit

Former Elite, now Pro. ⛸️

concorde

jf12

VegMom

sandraskates

Arwen17

iceskating21

silver.blades

Ic3Rabbit

Former Elite, now Pro. ⛸️

iceskating21

sandraskates

jf12

iceskating21

sandraskates

iceskating21

iceskating21

Ic3Rabbit

Former Elite, now Pro. ⛸️

sandraskates

iceskating21

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