Former figure skater says she was abused by partner who killed himself

Casual · May 24, 2019

While I spoke in favor of the victims when I first heard this story, (because, historically, it's much harder for victims to come out, than for abusers to get off scot free), at the same time I don't think we should jump to any conclusions - either in believing or disbelieving the allegations.

In actuality, we know nothing. I really feel the problem lies, as ever, with people's gullibility - without knowing all the facts, the crowd is always so quick to judge, (whether they immediately denounce the accusers as "greedy or unstable", or they denounce the accused as a "scheming devil incarnate").

We just don't know. All we know is spin - by the accused and his advocates; by the alleged victims; by everyone's lawyers.

The right thing to do would be to investigate and establish facts - in order to determine what happened, if anything, and what should be changed policy-wise, if anything.

eaglehelang · May 24, 2019

lanceupper1114 said:
So how does Namiotka fit into the narrative created by the Coughlin family that the allegations were inserted by a rival applying for the same US Olympic committee broadcasting job?

If I remember correctly, the 1st alleged victim was an adult when the incident happened.
Namiotka should be one of the 3 others who were minors when the incident/s happened.

mskater93 · May 24, 2019

karne said:
If anything...it could be viewed as one final act of control, one final act of abuse.

You have no idea what John Coughlin was thinking when he killed himself. He seriously could have been thinking about how even if not found guilty, people would always be suspicious and that his life was over (professionally)

heyang · May 25, 2019

I too was shocked that someone would outright claim the victim was crazy. It is a reason why victims don't come forward - when they know that people won't believe them and/or try to discredit them.

A lot of people have also said that it's not fair that 'victims' are coming forward after so many years...why didn't they say something earlier? again, because they didn't think they would be believed.

Jon was a desired asset - a winning male pairs skater. Not enough male partners = being willing to let him have what he wanted [up to a point] and maybe he did step over the line.....

Even if these girls had crushes on him, him being 19 and her being 15 still equals ick. Considering their 'professional' relationship in a corporate work environment, his position of power over here would've had the company being concerned about harassment. 19 year old aren't known to have the best judgement. Heck, when Barry Williams and Maureen McCormick had crushes on each other, the Brady Bunch producer took him aside and told him that there were a lot of other girls crushing on him and discouraged him from pursuing Maureen. So adults are aware of the risks of puppy love and , if responsible, would discourage it in a professional environment.

LiamForeman · May 25, 2019

heyang said:
I too was shocked that someone would outright claim the victim was crazy. It is a reason why victims don't come forward - when they know that people won't believe them and/or try to discredit them.

A lot of people have also said that it's not fair that 'victims' are coming forward after so many years...why didn't they say something earlier? again, because they didn't think they would be believed.

Even though there are the rare occurrences of false claims, it really is unlikely someone would just make something like this up. I mean, what's in it for them? Publicity for being a victim? Money? And knowing people will probably just think you are lying and attack you in retaliation? Hardly. Coming forward after so many years is not uncommon. I suppose these accusers coming forward probably reached a point in their lives where they realized that JC was a threat to others and felt a moral responsibility to speak up. I have no opinion or judgements wrt this case, but I usually tend to support the accuser. It takes a lot of courage to speak up, no matter if it takes them ten or however many years to build up that courage.

dorispulaski · May 26, 2019

It is very common for people to not believe women about harassment, assault, or rape, especially when the alleged perpetrator is a person who does not seem in some way shady. Sad to say, women are quite often not believed, and they know it.

https://www.guernicamag.com/rebecca-solnit-men-explain-things-to-me/

This example, from the classic essay "Men Explain Things to Me" by Rebecca Solnit, is particularly illustrative:

Credibility is a basic survival tool. When I was very young ..., I had a boyfriend whose uncle was a nuclear physicist. One Christmas, he was telling–as though it were a light and amusing subject–how a neighbor’s wife in his suburban bomb-making community had come running out of her house naked in the middle of the night screaming that her husband was trying to kill her. How, I asked, did you know that he wasn’t trying to kill her? He explained, patiently, that they were respectable middle-class people. Therefore, her-husband-trying-to-kill-her was simply not a credible explanation for her fleeing the house yelling that her husband was trying to kill her. That she was crazy, on the other hand...

Responses like this one are why women hesitate and delay reporting assaults and harassment.

LiamForeman · May 26, 2019

dorispulaski said:
It is very common for people to not believe women about harassment, assault, or rape, especially when the alleged perpetrator is person who does not seem in some way shady. Sad to say, women are quite often not believed, and they know it.

Responses like this one are why women hesitate and delay reporting assaults and harassment.

And men, too. It doesn't help matters when you read in the news about judges letting off a man with no prison time who raped his daughter because the judge believed him to be "a good Christian man" or similar. It makes you feel like it's not worth the pain, embarrassment, likely retaliation, etc. I applaud SafeSport for their mission in helping to make a sports environment free from abuses. It's not perfect, but it is a start. JC's death was tragic, and maybe SS should consider changing public notices of a respondent's status until an investigation is completed. An investigation shouldn't take more than a month or two (It's not a criminal proceeding after all). I hope that this sad situation doesn't happen again, though that's unlikely given the prevalence of sex abuse, not just in sports but overall.

Ambivalent · May 26, 2019

What a cop out by the authorities that be, not to investigate this going forward just because the accused ended his own life.

This goes far beyond one individual. What are the facts of the case? Who knew about the allegations? Who turned a willing blind eye and were complicit?

Can you imagine if Larry Nassar had committed suicide and everything swept under the rug? Why should figure skating be any different?

el henry · May 26, 2019

Ambivalent said:
What a cop out by the authorities that be, not to investigate this going forward just because the accused ended his own life.

This goes far beyond one individual. What are the facts of the case? Who knew about the allegations? Who turned a willing blind eye and were complicit?

Can you imagine if Larry Nassar had committed suicide and everything swept under the rug? Why should figure skating be any different?

No, it is not a “cop out”.

The accused is dead. *If* the only complaint or complaints that Safe Sport had were against John Coughlin, there is nothing to investigate. Even criminal investigations are concluded on the death of the only subject. Are the police “copping out”?

Now *if* a complainant were to go to Safe Sport or USFS and say, my coach knew about abuse and did nothing. My skating director told me I better not complain about my partner or I’d never get another one. Someone in authority at the rink saw inappropriate behavior and said nothing.

Then, there would be something to investigate.

But they “must have” known, someone “always” knows, the institution is “always” aware. No they’re not.:disapp: and frankly, I’m really surprised (or maybe not depending on his motivations) that a lawyer would engage in such generalities. Hopefully if that is the case, someone will provide the basis/complaint/information for investigation into the organization. ETA: or other individuals.

That will be a basis for proceeding. Not complaints specific to, and only against, someone who is deceased.

Sugar Coated · May 26, 2019

i don't blame Safe Sport for not continuing with the investigation. They are partially funded by tax payer money. Their mission is to protect athletes from potential abuse, not act as a court of law. If the person being investigated is no longer a threat, it doesn't make sense to spend their limited funding and resources on this investigation when they have many other potential investigations to begin to protect athletes from ongoing threats. It's not a good use of public funds meant to protect athletes to investigate someone who is no longer alive when there is potentially ongoing abuse by other people and in other sports.

I'm sure the "investigation" will continue in the form of civil lawsuits and potential internal investigations funded privately.

LiamForeman · May 26, 2019

Sugar Coated said:
I'm sure the "investigation" will continue in the form of civil lawsuits and potential internal investigations funded privately.

Well SOMETHING is going to happen, otherwise why would one of the top sex abuse attorneys in the country continue representing three of the complainants? He represented gymnasts in the Larry Nassar case. I'm not sure how USFS has any culpability, but no one knows all the details involved in the case unless they are personally connected to it. Whatever the situation, it hopefully will be beneficial for the future, and hopefully will encourage more awareness and victims to speak up. Maybe for USFS to mandate all clubs each year to have a lecture/PowerPoint on abuse (physical, emotional, sexual) and make all members (directors, coaches, athletes) sit through it and sign their names that they did. Some people might not even think they are being abused or abusing someone (which very well could be the situation with JC, as he considered his accusers as being his 'colleagues'), and a lecture giving examples of what is unacceptable behavior would be enlightening. (ideally...) The skating world is so insular that sometimes things are being done that just seem par for the course even though they are abusive if not illegal. Something positive can come out of this awful situation if steps are taken to elevate awareness to these issues.

Ambivalent · May 26, 2019

el henry said:
No, it is not a “cop out”.

The accused is dead. *If* the only complaint or complaints that Safe Sport had were against John Coughlin, there is nothing to investigate. Even criminal investigations are concluded on the death of the only subject. Are the police “copping out”?

Now *if* a complainant were to go to Safe Sport or USFS and say, my coach knew about abuse and did nothing. My skating director told me I better not complain about my partner or I’d never get another one. Someone in authority at the rink saw inappropriate behavior and said nothing.

Then, there would be something to investigate.

But they “must have” known, someone “always” knows, the institution is “always” aware. No they’re not.:disapp: and frankly, I’m really surprised (or maybe not depending on his motivations) that a lawyer would engage in such generalities. Hopefully if that is the case, someone will provide the basis/complaint/information for investigation into the organization. ETA: or other individuals.

That will be a basis for proceeding. Not complaints specific to, and only against, someone who is deceased.

An investigation is needed to establish the very things that you pointed out. *IF* no one knew about this, and *IF* the allegations against John and whoever else were untrue, this is also very important to establish. It is similarly important to point out *IF* there are any complaints against any organization. We do not know because of this culture of silence.

Comprehension is essential.

luckyguy · May 27, 2019

I saw Namiotka/Coughlin live at Junior Worlds 2007. They were as 4th relatively successful. I was surprised that four months later they were no more together. What is known about the end of their partnership?

I read with interest the following article:
https://www.kansascity.com/news/local/article230646344.html

Namiotka said she would have gone public earlier but said, “I have been in trauma therapy and have not had access to the internet.”

el henry · May 27, 2019

There was an article I saw from 2007 about the end of the Namiotka-Coughlin partnership, but the statement was very bland. Of course, partnerships, even successful ones, break up all the time, particularly at the junior level, so that in and of itself says nothing.

The KC Star article repeated the same Facebook posts that were quoted in the OP. AFAIK, those are the only quotes from her at all. I feel odd parsing Facebook posts, but that’s just me

And to get back to another issue, investigations don’t start with “if”, they start with complaints. They don’t start with could have, should have, or might have, they start with a complaint. Should Bridget, or any other skater or person or entity have a complaint about an existing organization or a living person, they would I hope feel confident enough to bring it.

Then an investigation can commence.

luckyguy · May 27, 2019

Namiotka with Coughlin in 2006: https://i.dailymail.co.uk/1s/2019/05/21/18/13770072-7053859-image-m-20_1558458174446.jpg

Mathman · May 27, 2019

el henry said:
And to get back to another issue, investigations don’t start with “if”, they start with complaints. They don’t start with could have, should have, or might have, they start with a complaint. Should Bridget, or any other skater or person or entity have a complaint about an existing organization or a living person, they would I hope feel confident enough to bring it.

Then an investigation can commence.

Where I fault SafeSport is that they make sweeping statements about the culture of abuse that is rampant in figure skating, and then follow up by saying, but of course we are not going to tell you anything -- that is outside our mandate.

From the article linked in post 41 above:

The U.S. Center for SafeSport delivered a chilling assessment of sexual misconduct in the sport of figure skating Monday morning, saying that in the course of its work on sexual misconduct allegations against the late national pairs champion John Coughlin, as well as other figure skating cases, it discovered “a culture in figure skating that allowed grooming and abuse to go unchecked for too long.

“The issues in this sport are similar to those the Center has seen in many others and cut across a wide population,” SafeSport said in a statement to USA TODAY. “This cannot be allowed to continue. The Center addresses these cultural issues every day through training and education and by, on a case-by-case basis, holding those who violate the (SafeSport) Code accountable.”

Of course, a partisan reader can dismiss this as Christine Brennan spinning SafeSport's words. Still, I do trust the part in quotation marks. I, for one, would like to know more about SafeSport's mandate to "address these cultural issues through training and education." Who is SafeSport training and educating? USFSA coaches and rink owners? The general public?

el henry · May 27, 2019

luckyguy said:
Namiotka with Coughlin in 2006: https://i.dailymail.co.uk/1s/2019/05/21/18/13770072-7053859-image-m-20_1558458174446.jpg

I'm not sure why this particular photo, as opposed to any other, is relevant to the OP?

el henry · May 27, 2019

Mathman said:
Where I fault SafeSport is that they make sweeping statements about the culture of abuse that is rampant in figure skating, and then follow up by saying, but of course we are not going to tell you anything -- that is outside our mandate.

From the article linked in post 41 above:

Of course, a partisan reader can dismiss this as Christine Brennan spinning SafeSport's words. Still, I do trust the part in quotation marks. I, for one, would like to know more about SafeSport's mandate to "address these cultural issues through training and education." Who is SafeSport training and educating? USFSA coaches and rink owners? The general public?

I also find SafeSport's comments incredibly unhelpful. The spitting contest between SafeSport and USFS helps no one, not the complainants, not the respondents.

My based only on my own simple guesses two cents: I think SafeSport is trying to gin up business. SafeSport provides training. Safe Sport (and I don't know this, I'm making this up) may get paid for this training. Oopsy daisy, culture of abuse, how do we solve that? Safe Sport gets paid to train,

It is horribly irresponsible to say there is a "culture" unless they have proof of a "culture" (and three complaints against John Coughlin *absent any other evidence* is not a "culture", nor is it evidence of one).

But it seems par for the course with this situation so far. ETA: much talk from organizations and paid reps, little in the way of what we really know.

Mathman · May 27, 2019

Sign up for SafeSport Training here:

https://safesport.org/training

By the way, I believe that they just updated this web site moments ago, while I was composing this post.

If you are an individual you can sign up for a 90 minute on-line training video for $20. If you are a member of a sports organization, check to see if your organization has an agreement with SafeSport about paying for it.

Special discount for organizations with 200 members or more!

ice coverage · May 27, 2019

Mathman said:
... I, for one, would like to know more about SafeSport's mandate to "address these cultural issues through training and education." Who is SafeSport training and educating? USFSA coaches and rink owners? The general public?

For one thing:

I would note that well before the allegations against Coughlin came to light, skaters already were a target audience for SafeSport messaging from USFS.
Examples: the 2018 Champs Camp t-shirts; and the recurring PSAs in Skating magazine (published by USFS).
IMO, suggests that skaters also have been a target audience for formal SafeSport training/education to one extent or another.

ETA:

BTW, on May 14, 2019, USFS published a revised version of its SafeSport handbook.
https://www.usfigureskating.org/content/safesport handbook.pdf

ETA (on Jun 12):

On Jun 11, 2019, USFS published another revision to its SafeSport handbook.
At same link as above.

Mathman said:
… Whatever we think of Christine Brennan's reporting, I think we can assume that the actual quotes from SafeSport officials are accurate. ...

Mathman said:
… Of course, a partisan reader can dismiss this as Christine Brennan spinning SafeSport's words. Still, I do trust the part in quotation marks. ...

Forgive me for digressing and for possibly being paranoid

drama

, but if(???) these two comments refer back to my two posts on page 2 of the thread, I worry that you misunderstood what I was saying.

I do assume that when Brennan puts something within quotation marks, the quotes are reliable.
My posts were not about mistrusting something that she quoted.

What I was discussing was a particular bit of Brennan's reporting that was *not* accompanied by a direct quote from anyone at all (from SafeSport or otherwise). And she did not say that her unnamed source for that particular bit was a source from SafeSport. The source was "a person with knowledge of the situation who was not authorized to talk publicly about the matter."
(I edited a fuller explanation into post #40.)

I think both Brennan and SafeSport would frown at the notion that SafeSport had "announced" a detail that she in fact hunted down on her own.

Former figure skater says she was abused by partner who killed himself

Casual

eaglehelang

mskater93

heyang

LiamForeman

William/Uilyam

dorispulaski

Wicked Yankee Girl

LiamForeman

William/Uilyam

Ambivalent

el henry

Go have some cake. And come back with jollity.

Sugar Coated

LiamForeman

William/Uilyam

Ambivalent

luckyguy

Match Penalty

el henry

Go have some cake. And come back with jollity.

luckyguy

Match Penalty

Mathman

el henry

Go have some cake. And come back with jollity.

el henry

Go have some cake. And come back with jollity.

Mathman

ice coverage

avatar credit: @miyan5605

Similar threads

Connect with us