How to tell current coach you’re switching coaches | Golden Skate

How to tell current coach you’re switching coaches

skatingbeast

Rinkside
Joined
Nov 14, 2019
Country
United-States
I’ve made the decision I need to switch to a different moves/freestyle coach. I’ve been working with this coach for 4+ years and have been considering leaving them for awhile now. I already went down to one lesson a week with them a few months ago to accommodate a new dance lesson and to give myself a much needed break from this coach.

I at first was going to give it until Spring and see if things improved but I’ve decided I need to pull the band aid off and fully stop working with this coach. This coach pretty much taught my how to skate though, and even though I am very frustrated with them, I want to end things respectfully. They’re also planning out competitions for me to go to and test sessions, so I feel like I shouldn’t wait too long.

Any words of wisdom? I’ll probably wait until the new year bc I don’t want to be the grinch right before the holidays. I feel like I’m going to have to have this conversation with them on the ice at the start of one of my lessons, as that's the only time I see them. Do I thank them and just be vague about needing a change or do I give a couple of specific reasons?

Thanks in advance! I usually have no issue confronting people, but I'm very anxious about this.
 

tstop4me

Final Flight
Joined
Oct 2, 2015
Country
United-States
"I feel like I’m going to have to have this conversation with them on the ice at the start of one of my lessons, as that's the only time I see them."

I have no advice, but I do have a comment on your timing. I wouldn't spring the news just before the lesson ... that will be one awkward lesson. That's like asking your girlfriend/boyfriend out for a dinner date, and breaking up with them at the start of dinner ... not a pretty prelude for an enjoyable meal together.
 

Flying Feijoa

On the Ice
Joined
Sep 22, 2019
Country
New-Zealand
The one time that I ended a coaching relationship was via email. I was afraid of being impersonal, but more afraid of saying it tactlessly/meeting a bad reaction if I did it in person. She responded alright (by email). I made up for the impersonal-ness by going up to her at the next session (where I was just there to practice, having not found a new coach yet) and sort of giving her a chance to say a few words of conclusion. I think by then she'd had enough time to process the fact and she was quite civil to me.

I think it kind of depends on the coach and the skater though. Email was a regular mode of correspondence for us. Plus I'm able to sound more professional/calm in writing than in spontaneous conversation, while the reverse may be true for other people.

I feel your pain though. Easier for the kids, they can get their parents to do the deed instead!
 

sandraskates

Final Flight
Joined
Oct 31, 2006
Country
United-States
This topic has been discussed a few times. You can do a search for it. Here was one of the discussions:

https://www.goldenskate.com/forum/showthread.php?73786&p=2119232#post2119232

Just remember that coaches are aware that students may leave and go to another coach at anytime; it's common in skating.
And keep the parting amicable because you may want to go back to your current coach at some point; that happens too!
You should be current with payment and not have any outstanding bills with your old coach when you change to your new coach.
 

WednesdayMarch

Nicer When Fed
Medalist
Joined
Mar 24, 2019
Country
United-Kingdom
Yes, what Sandra said!

Having coached in the past, I'd just add that I would never, ever want a student to continue with me just because they didn't know how to tell me they needed a change. To me, especially with adult students, skating is just as much about the joy as the achievements, and a frustrated student isn't getting any benefit from those lessons.
 

skatingbeast

Rinkside
Joined
Nov 14, 2019
Country
United-States
I have no advice, but I do have a comment on your timing. I wouldn't spring the news just before the lesson ... that will be one awkward lesson. That's like asking your girlfriend/boyfriend out for a dinner date, and breaking up with them at the start of dinner ... not a pretty prelude for an enjoyable meal together.

I thought it would be weirder to pretend like everything is fine and then at the very end of the lesson say I wasn't going to work with the person anymore. I was thinking if I told them at the beginning of the lesson I could leave it up to them if they want to do one more lesson or not. I'll think on this some more.

The one time that I ended a coaching relationship was via email. I was afraid of being impersonal, but more afraid of saying it tactlessly/meeting a bad reaction if I did it in person. She responded alright (by email). I made up for the impersonal-ness by going up to her at the next session (where I was just there to practice, having not found a new coach yet) and sort of giving her a chance to say a few words of conclusion. I think by then she'd had enough time to process the fact and she was quite civil to me.

I think it kind of depends on the coach and the skater though. Email was a regular mode of correspondence for us. Plus I'm able to sound more professional/calm in writing than in spontaneous conversation, while the reverse may be true for other people.

Thanks for the response! Email is not a regular mode of communication for us so I think I need to have an in person conversation. A skating friend told me they once "phased out a coach" but I just want to do a clean break and move on.

This topic has been discussed a few times. You can do a search for it. Here was one of the discussions:

Just remember that coaches are aware that students may leave and go to another coach at anytime; it's common in skating.
And keep the parting amicable because you may want to go back to your current coach at some point; that happens too!
You should be current with payment and not have any outstanding bills with your old coach when you change to your new coach.

Thanks! I did do a search and read through a few previous discussions, but they all seemed to focus more around the politics at rinks or finding a new coach/co-coaching. Neither of those are issues for me. It's good to remind myself that students leave coaches all the time. I'm probably way over thinking this because I'v been with this coach for so many years and am not sure if they see this coming or not.
 

sandraskates

Final Flight
Joined
Oct 31, 2006
Country
United-States
I thought it would be weirder to pretend like everything is fine and then at the very end of the lesson say I wasn't going to work with the person anymore.
I was thinking if I told them at the beginning of the lesson I could leave it up to them if they want to do one more lesson or not. I'll think on this some more.

I suggest breaking up with your coach by having a meeting on time set aside that is not lesson time.
Your coach may have another skater that would like to fill your lesson time slot. Your leaving would open up the slot and when the coach knows in advance they can schedule accordingly.
 

NDS5781

Spectator
Joined
Dec 9, 2019
If you're not happy with your current coaching situation you should definitely make a change and the sooner the better. It's your money you're spending! Sit your coach down and be honest and respectful by letting them know how grateful you are for all they've taught you. Good luck!
N
 

Shani

On the Ice
Joined
Jan 11, 2014
I feel you should break from this coach before the holidays as you are posting online. Have a break for 2 weeks and go onto next year with a new coach who is presumbaly aware of your situation. Pay up all your bills with the old coach and be honest that you are leaving with no hard feelings.
 
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