Coaches breaking up with students | Golden Skate

Coaches breaking up with students

sandraskates

Final Flight
Joined
Oct 31, 2006
Country
United-States
I'm not an elite skater and I have only had a coach "break up" with me once. She was moving to another state to be near her children and grand children.

I'd been with her for about a year and she knew my skating goals. She gave me some recommendations for who she thought would be good options for my next coach. I did end up picking one of her choices.

I would love to do more coaching and am realistic about what levels I could teach. If I had a competitive skater I'd realize that at some point I'd have to recommend that they go to a higher level coach.
 

tstop4me

Final Flight
Joined
Oct 2, 2015
Country
United-States
I was reading a couple of posts where people were asking the correct etiquette for breaking up with a coach and moving on to another, so wondered if there was a process for coaches breaking up with students? I'm thinking of situations where a coach's availability / circumstances changes or they feel the student would work better with a different coach.
<<Emphasis added>> If that's the reason, the coach should just be straightforward about it. There shouldn't be any anxiety or angst. A year ago, my coach (who I've been with for 4 yrs) told me she had been offerred a position as figure skating director at another rink. It was closer to her home than our present rink, but in the opposite direction for me, and way too far for me. The other rink was being remodelled, and she wasn't expected to start there for several months. I thanked her for all her help, wished her good luck in her new job. I told her that I would continue with her as long as she was available at our present rink, but when she left for her new position, I would switch to another coach at our present rink. No issues. As it turned out, the other rink changed plans, went all hockey, and didn't launch a figure skating program. So my coach stayed, and I stayed with her.

Another coach at my rink had a full-time non-coaching job. She worked close to our rink and had a flexible work schedule. She was available to coach various skaters during weekday mornings and afternoons. But then she changed jobs, much further away, and with more rigid office hours. She was no longer available to coach skaters during those times. Her skaters who needed those times were of course sorry to see her go, but were happy for her career advancement.
 

WednesdayMarch

Nicer When Fed
Medalist
Joined
Mar 24, 2019
Country
United-Kingdom
I was reading a couple of posts where people were asking the correct etiquette for breaking up with a coach and moving on to another, so wondered if there was a process for coaches breaking up with students? I'm thinking of situations where a coach's availability / circumstances changes or they feel the student would work better with a different coach.

Honesty is always the best policy. If availability/circumstances change, explain that. If you feel a student would be better with a different coach - whatever the reason - just say that. It can feel a bit sticky if the brutal fact of the matter is that you really, really dislike the student and are desperate to offload them onto a different coach but don't want to say that, so you need to isolate a part of their skating that would benefit from a "specialist" in that area and go down that route. ;)
 

Vicki7

On the Ice
Joined
Aug 27, 2018
I've had a coach break up with me. Except I wasn't told by the coach, she just blocked me on Facebook, and I found out from a friend via Facebook messenger she'd left the rink. I was in the States working at a summer camp at the time. So if the etiquette works both ways, I'm sure that's not the proper way.

I came to my current coach because I needed regular evening lessons due to finding a job, and my previous coach (who kindly took me on after the above coach break up) said she didn't have any availability, so directed me to him, because if I wanted to do more competitions I needed regular lessons.

So I've had experience of good and bad in this regard.
 

christy

On the Ice
Joined
Jun 17, 2014
I've had a coach break up with me. Except I wasn't told by the coach, she just blocked me on Facebook, and I found out from a friend via Facebook messenger she'd left the rink. I was in the States working at a summer camp at the time. So if the etiquette works both ways, I'm sure that's not the proper way.

I came to my current coach because I needed regular evening lessons due to finding a job, and my previous coach (who kindly took me on after the above coach break up) said she didn't have any availability, so directed me to him, because if I wanted to do more competitions I needed regular lessons.

So I've had experience of good and bad in this regard.

Wow, that happening with the first coach is just awful.
 

Ducky

On the Ice
Joined
Feb 14, 2018
So would you expect the original coach to suggest possible replacements?

Unless she was breaking up with the athlete for personality reasons and she couldn't recommend them to another coach, yes. Just as I would expect my doctor or hair stylist to recommend someone if they were moving.
 

WednesdayMarch

Nicer When Fed
Medalist
Joined
Mar 24, 2019
Country
United-Kingdom
I've had a coach break up with me. Except I wasn't told by the coach, she just blocked me on Facebook, and I found out from a friend via Facebook messenger she'd left the rink. I was in the States working at a summer camp at the time. So if the etiquette works both ways, I'm sure that's not the proper way.

I came to my current coach because I needed regular evening lessons due to finding a job, and my previous coach (who kindly took me on after the above coach break up) said she didn't have any availability, so directed me to him, because if I wanted to do more competitions I needed regular lessons.

So I've had experience of good and bad in this regard.

That's not "bad", Vicki, that's appalling!

I have had the experience of turning up at the rink for training and finding out that our coach had just left with no notice and apparently "gone to America". She left a whole team upset and worried as it's not always easy to find an elite coach at the drop of a hat and with have high level competitions coming up. Definitely another example of "how not to do it"! (It was pre-internet, so no chance of even finding out via FB.)
 
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