Best way to deal with drama in a rink? | Page 2 | Golden Skate

Best way to deal with drama in a rink?

Ic3Rabbit

Former Elite, now Pro. ⛸️
Record Breaker
Joined
Jan 9, 2017
Country
Olympics
I wonder what happened to the OP - maybe they can't find the thread because it got moved into the Lutz Corner?

Is there a term for starting a thread or discussion and not coming back...LOL?

Thread abandonment. :laugh:
 

mystery905

Rinkside
Joined
Jan 22, 2018
For me and probably many others, figure skating is a solitary sport, and to socialize with others at the rink is not a requirement. If people are friendly, that's fine, but your lives don't have to intertwine.
 

tstop4me

Final Flight
Joined
Oct 2, 2015
Country
United-States
I wonder what happened to the OP - maybe they can't find the thread because it got moved into the Lutz Corner?

Is there a term for starting a thread or discussion and not coming back...LOL?
This scenario pops up often on a variety of forums I participate in. Sometimes I suspect that the OP is just a bored person who posts some vague question, and then sits back and snickers while multiple respondents speculate on what the question is all about.
 

sandraskates

Final Flight
Joined
Oct 31, 2006
Country
United-States
It's just rude to not even come back with a "thank you" to those that have responded. And many responses were very thoughtful and obviously took a while to write up.
 

treesprite

Final Flight
Joined
Feb 16, 2010
For me and probably many others, figure skating is a solitary sport, and to socialize with others at the rink is not a requirement. If people are friendly, that's fine, but your lives don't have to intertwine.

My rink has a highly social atmosphere for both kids and adult skaters. I think the popularity of synchro here helps the kids stay United, since they are learning team work and whatever. The adult skaters are amazing. When I am guarding on the nights that are mainly attended by adult skaters, it is like social hour on the ice, even for me as a guard. When I broke my wrist recently, I went out to the ice and asked if someone would take me to the hospital in my car, and immediately one of the regulars offered to do it. When my car was brken down, several times adult skater customers felt pity for me and drove me all the way home so I wouldn't have to take the bus. When I broke my leg in 2001, one of the adult skaters showed up at the hospital (I was there almost a week) with a card signed by all the adult skaters, some of whom I didn't even know. Skaters often decide to share lessons when working on the same thing, group skate sharpenings are sometimes arranged for those of us who go all the way to Waldorf, and the adult skaters sometimes get together to do numbers in the rink shows. Cabin John is the best for skating social connections!
 

mystery905

Rinkside
Joined
Jan 22, 2018
My rink has a highly social atmosphere for both kids and adult skaters. I think the popularity of synchro here helps the kids stay United, since they are learning team work and whatever. The adult skaters are amazing. When I am guarding on the nights that are mainly attended by adult skaters, it is like social hour on the ice, even for me as a guard. When I broke my wrist recently, I went out to the ice and asked if someone would take me to the hospital in my car, and immediately one of the regulars offered to do it. When my car was brken down, several times adult skater customers felt pity for me and drove me all the way home so I wouldn't have to take the bus. When I broke my leg in 2001, one of the adult skaters showed up at the hospital (I was there almost a week) with a card signed by all the adult skaters, some of whom I didn't even know. Skaters often decide to share lessons when working on the same thing, group skate sharpenings are sometimes arranged for those of us who go all the way to Waldorf, and the adult skaters sometimes get together to do numbers in the rink shows. Cabin John is the best for skating social connections!

That's a very nice experience. However, things can go negatively as well. To each their own, but I keep to myself.
 

concorde

Medalist
Joined
Jul 29, 2013
I think the age of the skater plays a big role on how "drama" is perceived. I expect that an adult will perceive things one way but a child will perceive things another way.

Most adults have a life beyond skating. Compare that to young skaters when school is out over the summer - skating becomes their life. Sad but true. The worst are preteen to young teen girls where everything is prone to drama.

Not sure about your rink but at ours over the summer, kids are dropped off in the morning and picked up in the afternoon, 5 days a week, week after week. That gives alot of time for drama to develop.
 

VegMom

On the Ice
Joined
Aug 25, 2017
. When I broke my leg in 2001, one of the adult skaters showed up at the hospital (I was there almost a week) with a card signed by all the adult skaters, some of whom I didn't even know.
Very nice. But wow, a week? For a broken leg? Must have been a really bad break. I hope you're ok now.

Not sure about your rink but at ours over the summer, kids are dropped off in the morning and picked up in the afternoon, 5 days a week, week after week. That gives alot of time for drama to develop.
Sounds like a recipe for trouble.
Even just adult presence (not necessarily interference) can often squash drama.
 

treesprite

Final Flight
Joined
Feb 16, 2010
I think the age of the skater plays a big role on how "drama" is perceived. I expect that an adult will perceive things one way but a child will perceive things another way.

Most adults have a life beyond skating. Compare that to young skaters when school is out over the summer - skating becomes their life. Sad but true. The worst are preteen to young teen girls where everything is prone to drama.

Not sure about your rink but at ours over the summer, kids are dropped off in the morning and picked up in the afternoon, 5 days a week, week after week. That gives alot of time for drama to develop.


Sounds like a recipe for trouble.
Even just adult presence (not necessarily interference) can often squash drama.

Similar happens here in the summer, but we have summer camps every day all summer that the younger ones go to (some are just skaing, but the main campus is like summer camp activities but with skating instead of swimming pools, and includes a group lesson every day). There are always freestyle monitors who do kick off skaters who act badly, and no teenager wants to be made a spectacle of, so the possibility of it probably keeps them mindful of behavior. We have a lot of really involved parents, and some of them are at the rink as long as the kids are (wealthy area, so a lot of parents don't have jobs). We have a lot of coaches here too, so possibly the nearly constant presence of them adds a greater sense of authority to the atmosphere.

I am pretty certain that the strong synchro presence has a lot to do with the lack of social drama. For the younger skaters, it's almost like going in synchro is an automatic expectation. They see all the kids in synchro jackets skating and playing on public sessions, and want to be a part of the social interaction. Just being around that sense of cohesion teaches kids a sense of cohesion and bonding; even if they don't join a synchro team, they are around that atmosphere and the behavior rubs off on them. Also, a lot of the private lesson skaters do group lessons together as well, which creates better social bonding (we have specialty classes for higher levels).

Very nice. But wow, a week? For a broken leg? Must have been a really bad break. I hope you're ok now.

Two spiral fractures. A metal plate had to be put in my leg, which was removed a year later because it hurt and I couldn't skate with a piece of metal on top of my ankle. There is permanent damage that makes skating a bit of a struggle, and the incident was so traumatic that I had flashbacks when I went back to skating, and developed a severe phobia that made me unable to step on the ice for long periods of time a couple times. I really love skating though, so I keep going back for more injuries.
 

VegMom

On the Ice
Joined
Aug 25, 2017
Two spiral fractures. A metal plate had to be put in my leg, which was removed a year later because it hurt and I couldn't skate with a piece of metal on top of my ankle. There is permanent damage that makes skating a bit of a struggle, and the incident was so traumatic that I had flashbacks when I went back to skating, and developed a severe phobia that made me unable to step on the ice for long periods of time a couple times. I really love skating though, so I keep going back for more injuries.
That sounds really scary. Sorry you endured that. Glad they were able to fix it well enough that at least you can skate if you want.
 

treesprite

Final Flight
Joined
Feb 16, 2010
Is anyone else at a rink with a very strong synchro presence, who feels the way I do about the impact that presence has on the rink social environment?
 

karne

in Emergency Backup Mode
Record Breaker
Joined
Jan 1, 2013
Country
Australia
Is anyone else at a rink with a very strong synchro presence, who feels the way I do about the impact that presence has on the rink social environment?

*mutters* My only experiences with synchro involve them being completely disrespectful and dismissive towards anyone outside their little synchro "clique" so I'd imagine they could make a rink environment pretty toxic.
 

treesprite

Final Flight
Joined
Feb 16, 2010
*mutters* My only experiences with synchro involve them being completely disrespectful and dismissive towards anyone outside their little synchro "clique" so I'd imagine they could make a rink environment pretty toxic.

I guess that could be true in some places; I am not aware of it here. The groups I see of the younger synchro skaters, often have non-synchro members joining in, and the girls love teaching group skills to their non-synchro friends. I enjoy watching the interactions of these kids, but unfortunately, they are not supposed to do synchro in public sessions, so I am always having to break up some cute stuff.
 

VegMom

On the Ice
Joined
Aug 25, 2017
Is anyone else at a rink with a very strong synchro presence, who feels the way I do about the impact that presence has on the rink social environment?

The rink we're at most of the time doesn't have a synchro team yet at all. The other rink has one team. Both rinks are generally drama-free and most skaters are kind to one another. There's a bit of drama with the teens at the rink with the synchro team every now and then, but I feel like it's mostly just one girl and her catty ways.

We experienced full on drama at another rink recently wherein my skater said there were bullies. I watched and indeed I did agree that there was an element of bullying present there. That was during a camp. It really made us feel unwelcome and unlikely to visit that rink or camp ever again. My biggest issue was how the adults in charge seemed utterly oblivious to what appeared to me to be very obvious teasing and rule-breaking. There was all this talk about the older skaters setting good examples for the younger ones and for the most part the oldest skaters were professional and kind, but the adults just completely ignored all the teasing and it's effects. In that situation, the bonding between syncho kids would not have helped because the kids getting teased were all the 'outsiders' who came there for camp.

My skater was in a competition with the Hawaii skating club and that was one of the best experiences ever. Those kids are ALL super kind and there was absolutely no teasing or drama. They brought the 'aloha' to the competition and spread it widely. It wasn't the rink's synchro team that did it (I don't think they have a synchro team), it was the Hawaiian culture.
 

concorde

Medalist
Joined
Jul 29, 2013
Is anyone else at a rink with a very strong synchro presence, who feels the way I do about the impact that presence has on the rink social environment?

Early on and when all skaters were in the same classes. Then the two separate tracks evolved (freestyle and synchro) but all seemed to be friends. Then as the synchro skaters progressed more, the attitude changed when the girls realized that each team could only take a certain number and all wanted to be on "that" team.

*mutters* My only experiences with synchro involve them being completely disrespectful and dismissive towards anyone outside their little synchro "clique" so I'd imagine they could make a rink environment pretty toxic.

Yep! that was when the top synchro girls opted for another team based two hours away so that became another set of issues. As a bystander, it was sad to watch long term friendships being destroyed. The good news what after the "splits" stabilized, things were went back to a new "norm" with new cliques forming. By this time, the synchro skaters were slowing moving to other rinks.

Have you observed the interactions of synchro skaters on freestyle sessions?

It got so bad along the way that our rink has to set up a rule on how many girls (now two) could link up during a freestyle session. Synchro is now no longer a big thing at our rink.

I think I think the type of skating gives two different set of problems - bullying (freestyle due to an individual sport) whereas cliques (synchro due to a team event). Both are bad and you don't what the two sets overlapping at the same rink.
 

mskater93

Record Breaker
Joined
Oct 22, 2005
*mutters* My only experiences with synchro involve them being completely disrespectful and dismissive towards anyone outside their little synchro "clique" so I'd imagine they could make a rink environment pretty toxic.

Mine as well. They will disrupt and cut through skaters' lessons who do not do synchro
 

treesprite

Final Flight
Joined
Feb 16, 2010
Have you observed the interactions of synchro skaters on freestyle sessions?

Do you mean as far as social behavior or practicing? As far as practice goes, if there is a freestyle monitor, there is no group practice allowed. I don't see the early morning ones, so I don't know if there is a monitor controlling things. I watch the afternoon and evening sometimes, and there are always monitors.

Now I think I will ask my monitor coworkers for their observations of social interactions. Mine are primarily in public sessions and off the ice when skates are going on and off.
 

gkelly

Record Breaker
Joined
Jul 26, 2003
I don't hang out with the kids so I don't see much drama. That doesn't mean the kids aren't experiencing some.

The last few years I've mostly been skating mid-morning freestyles that have more adults than kids, or sometimes mid-afternoon freestyles.

Sometimes there would be two or three skaters practicing the same freestyle program. Even if they weren't connected, that almost makes it harder to avoid all of them at the same time. If they played the music once or twice per session, that's one thing, but if there are multiple pairs of synchro kids doing runthroughs together on the same session, that adds up to a lot of time where it's hard to find a safe right of way, and worse if they're also tracking each other when their music isn't on, and worse for the higher level synchro skaters who are much stronger skaters than me (and probably less aware of what's going on around them the high-level dance teams).

However, that's mainly a traffic safety issue. As I said, I haven't observed much emotional drama, especially since I stopped frequenting the crowded early evening freestyles.
 
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