Coach Rafael Arutyunyan on Mao Asada
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The way Rafael described the way Mao called him made me really sad. I'm not sure why but I can imagine a desperate teenager who was probably feeling at her lowest, calling someone she looked up and hoping he could maybe come to Japan to help bring some stability to her training. It must have been a scary time in her life.
I'm glad that to hear they are good friends now. Maybe it's the communication barrier but I didn't really like that Rafael said that he's fired her 2 months before Worlds and he could have had 2 World Champions. I would have prioritized the thought of her mother's illness instead.
I'm glad that to hear they are good friends now. Maybe it's the communication barrier but I didn't really like that Rafael said that he's fired her 2 months before Worlds and he could have had 2 World Champions. I would have prioritized the thought of her mother's illness instead.
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It's just his way of expressing regret about the situation.
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I think he was simply blaming himself for being a very "dark or white" person at the time. He didn't go to her because he thought she was acting like a spoiled super-star teenager, and then he ended up not being formally the World champion coach... so he was just being a tad bitter about how karma got to him in the end
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He mentioned that he was "young" at the time and alluded to the fact that he made a mistake. I think what he was just trying to get across that he made one. However, on the same token, not everything is always as it seems, hence the "dark/white" comment, which was meant to be "not everything is always as it seems and/or is always in black and white....there is always a gray area." Remember, English is not his first language 
While he missed the creds of having Asada win 2008 worlds, he was also sorry about her mother's passing and how everything went down. Apparently he wasn't aware of how seriously ill she was or how badly Asada needed him at that time.
While he missed the creds of having Asada win 2008 worlds, he was also sorry about her mother's passing and how everything went down. Apparently he wasn't aware of how seriously ill she was or how badly Asada needed him at that time.
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:sad14:
Thank you for this interview clip. Nice to get a back-story.
Thank you for this interview clip. Nice to get a back-story.
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Gosh Thank you for this! I have always wondered what happened back then! 
At that time I thought the same
. I think Mao should have said him, or at least tell him that she was living a very serious situation. But I guess she had her reasons, she is even closer to Tatiana Tarasova than Rafael and Mao did not tell her either.
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At that time I thought the same
Sometimes when you face such difficult situations, you don't want anyone to know, just because so you can put a brave face on and pretend everything is fine. It's not the best way to handle things but I get why Mao acted like that, and I also get why Raf got fed up with her. In the end what happened was nobody's fault
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Mao was, is, super, super-private and super, super-protective of her mother and her relationship with her mother.
I think that I have heard Mao talk publicly about her mother ONCE, and it was a comment she probably had to make under the circumstance because her mother had just died and she was expected to say something. She had just competed in her first competition after her mother's death, and I think she was asked what she wanted to say to her mother (in heaven) because she had done so well, and she said something like 'I don't think I have to tell her anything because she is always with me'. And even that comment, I felt, was said almost unwillingly as if she didn't want to say anything at all.
That's just the way she is. So beautifully headstrong and private in many respects.
I think that I have heard Mao talk publicly about her mother ONCE, and it was a comment she probably had to make under the circumstance because her mother had just died and she was expected to say something. She had just competed in her first competition after her mother's death, and I think she was asked what she wanted to say to her mother (in heaven) because she had done so well, and she said something like 'I don't think I have to tell her anything because she is always with me'. And even that comment, I felt, was said almost unwillingly as if she didn't want to say anything at all.
That's just the way she is. So beautifully headstrong and private in many respects.
Though I agree that something should have been said about the illness, many people forget that culturally, Asians (I am one) tend to keep a lot of family issues under a ton of mattresses. I imagine it's even more so for the Japanese, because we just don't air family concerns and what not like they do in the west. Headstrong is a word that always comes up, but what the west do not understand is that we do not have the tabloid-mentality in the East. I mean not really. Everything is so available public that being private becomes perceived as stubborn or reclusive.
Illness, money, etc are all never to leave the four walls of the home. With Mao Asada, even in 2008 she was already MAO ASADA of JAPAN- her star rising and rising- privacy was even more precious. And there is also pride. Some people, culturally, are just a lot more reconciled with keeping their pride if it means sacrificing something important. In her case, Mao and their family kept their integrity with accepting Raf's decision, and in turn kept the mother's illness a secret. Some people may disagree, but I'd imagine that she would have hated any form of special treatment because of this issue. I respect for more, after all these years, for never having roped in her whole family into her athletic career. You don't hear a lot about her parents, or even Mai for that matter or their relationships because at the end of the day- coach or federation, or the public, it really is nobody's business.
In the end, all is resolved. We discover Rafael's remorse and Mao Asada's grace and gratitude, even though she was indeed fired.
Illness, money, etc are all never to leave the four walls of the home. With Mao Asada, even in 2008 she was already MAO ASADA of JAPAN- her star rising and rising- privacy was even more precious. And there is also pride. Some people, culturally, are just a lot more reconciled with keeping their pride if it means sacrificing something important. In her case, Mao and their family kept their integrity with accepting Raf's decision, and in turn kept the mother's illness a secret. Some people may disagree, but I'd imagine that she would have hated any form of special treatment because of this issue. I respect for more, after all these years, for never having roped in her whole family into her athletic career. You don't hear a lot about her parents, or even Mai for that matter or their relationships because at the end of the day- coach or federation, or the public, it really is nobody's business.
In the end, all is resolved. We discover Rafael's remorse and Mao Asada's grace and gratitude, even though she was indeed fired.
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Mao Asada's 8-year-old Mystery Solved
http://www.japantimes.co.jp/sports/...mao-mystery-finally-solved-eight-years-later/
From the Japan Times
http://www.japantimes.co.jp/sports/...mao-mystery-finally-solved-eight-years-later/
From the Japan Times
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....and the whole story was based on the interview that Golden Skate put out...word for word...:disapp:
https://youtu.be/kkLLwgvT1jE
https://youtu.be/kkLLwgvT1jE
I did not know golden skate has a youtube channel. Nice and thanks.
Lol! Tsk tsk Jack Gallagher has always been one of the worst journalists I've read in figure skating, he basically did a transcript of Ted's interview. I looked at the comments and it seems like he credited TSL at first for the interview instead of GoldenSkate:dumb:
Regardless of who first put the interview out, I find the whole situation a bit sad. I remember when this was happening--the speculation of several posters here who condemned Mao of acting with entitlement, as a spoiled brat, etc.
Also, I'm not sure I agree with Jack Gallagher that the reason for the secrecy was because of the "foreign instructor". Maybe it was, but then again, perhaps Mao and her family are just private people who preferred to keep this private and to themselves?
Also, I'm not sure I agree with Jack Gallagher that the reason for the secrecy was because of the "foreign instructor". Maybe it was, but then again, perhaps Mao and her family are just private people who preferred to keep this private and to themselves?
I think part of it could also be that it was a really painful thing to go through and there were times that you just weren't able to or didn't want to talk about it, because even talking about it could be painful. And as someone who's gone through similar situations, I know that if you start telling people around you about your parent's health problems, the natural response you'd get is people being concerned and start saying they're sorry to hear that, or start to ask you about how she's doing now. But there could be times that you don't want to be pitied, or are emotionally just not capable of answering these questions.
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Wasn't Mao ASADA being coached by Tarasova around this time ?
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I guarantee that Mao and her family were not motivated by stubbornness or xenophobia or anything other than what would help them get through the next week/day/hour. The day the hearse came for my mom we had all these neighbors showing up shocked that we didn't tell them she was sick and that we weren't holding a wake/funeral for her (just a small dinner with friends when we collected her ashes). I just wanted to look at them and say "I promise we were not thinking of you at all when we made these decisions." And you know what? I'm glad we did even if it got us some side-eye looks.
I went to support my friend at her father's wake and it was brutal. He was a prominent member of the community, so they did the traditional wake (if you're not familiar with a wake, that's when the body is displayed in the casket and the family stands next to it and receives condolences). She, along with her mother and two high school age sisters, were standing there for FIVE SOLID HOURS shaking hands with every Tom, Dick, and Harry who wanted to 'show their support' for the family. Her boyfriend and I had to go on a food run for them and they couldn't even eat it because the line was still out the door and into the parking lot (they did send the littlest sister to go eat). They were already sleep deprived and emotionally exhausted from the final three weeks of hospice care (he had to be watched 24/7 because he was delusional and kept panicking/ripping out his IV/running out of the house/attacking people near him/etc). Yet here they were, running this damned gauntlet, giving comfort to people who hadn't spoken to their father in years... because it was what was expected.
So I have no problems with the Asada's silence almost a decade ago. No one has to understand the decisions they made during that time- it's not our business how anyone else grieves.
Edit: Wow, that came out way more bitter than I expected. Apparently I still have ~feelings~ about this.
I went to support my friend at her father's wake and it was brutal. He was a prominent member of the community, so they did the traditional wake (if you're not familiar with a wake, that's when the body is displayed in the casket and the family stands next to it and receives condolences). She, along with her mother and two high school age sisters, were standing there for FIVE SOLID HOURS shaking hands with every Tom, Dick, and Harry who wanted to 'show their support' for the family. Her boyfriend and I had to go on a food run for them and they couldn't even eat it because the line was still out the door and into the parking lot (they did send the littlest sister to go eat). They were already sleep deprived and emotionally exhausted from the final three weeks of hospice care (he had to be watched 24/7 because he was delusional and kept panicking/ripping out his IV/running out of the house/attacking people near him/etc). Yet here they were, running this damned gauntlet, giving comfort to people who hadn't spoken to their father in years... because it was what was expected.
So I have no problems with the Asada's silence almost a decade ago. No one has to understand the decisions they made during that time- it's not our business how anyone else grieves.
Edit: Wow, that came out way more bitter than I expected. Apparently I still have ~feelings~ about this.
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I agree so much with what you said: everybody should be allowed to handle their grief and difficult situations on their own terms. It has to be their choice how much share with others and how much keep private, it shouldn't be dictated by ''social requirements''
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