Figure skater Tarah Kayne details abuse allegations against sanctioned Olympic coach

[anonymoose_au]

How horrendous! How could anyone be such a horrible human being?! Poor Tarah, having to deal with that. I'm glad Danny tried to help, he probably felt pretty helpless too. It's so messed up though... imagine having a coach treat you that way, Tarah must have felt so alone I hope she has lots of support to help her through.

Sappenfield definitely needs to be banned, she's obviously completely sadistic and she has caused so much damage. I'm not sure she can be charged with an actual crime (sexual harrassment I guess?), but the skating community needs to stand up for the victims, provide a safe way for anyone to report concerning behaviour and get rid of anyone who poses a threat to kids/teens. I truly hope there's more good people out there than bad (or negligent at the very least) and this can happen.

 

[Scott512]

This article speaks for itself. Warning: this can be horrifying to read. Tarah is a hero in my view.

https://eu.usatoday.com/story/sport...tions-against-dalilah-sappenfield/6040794001/ .

What is going on with American figure skating abuses and letting that pervert doctor run wild for 20 years with USA gymnastics?
The top people and the FBI swept everything under the rug about nassar. Do other countries have these same sexual abuse and harrassment problems with their athletes? I'd think if Russia had the same problems with figure skaters being sexually abused and harassed and their gymnasts being sexually abused and harassed we would have heard about it at nauseum for decades.

Also American male pair skaters have had issues over the years with abuse of women and we just know the tip of the iceberg about this stuff it probably runs much deeper.

The only way to fix it is to give people serious jail sentences and not let them slide for decades.

There was no excuse for Larry Nasser to get away with what he did from 1997 to 2017. All parties should be deeply ashamed.

 

[skatesofgold]

This is awful. I feel so bad for Tarah. I don't understand why it's so hard for coaches in figure skating and gymnastics to treat young people with dignity and respect.

 

[rain]

What is going on with American figure skating abuses and letting that pervert doctor run wild for 20 years with USA gymnastics?
The top people and the FBI swept everything under the rug about nassar. Do other countries have these same sexual abuse and harrassment problems with their athletes? I'd think if Russia had the same problems with figure skaters being sexually abused and harassed and their gymnasts being sexually abused and harassed we would have heard about it at nauseum for decades.

Don't kid yourself for a second that this is just a U.S. figure skating or U.S. sports problem.

In response to the article, I can only imagine the hours and days and months of abuse that would have led up to Tarah (and Danny) staying with a coach who actually made Tarah feel so badly about herself that she slit her wrist, or that they would for one second accept a coach telling them that Tarah isn't allowed to speak. You only get to the point of accepting that kind of thing after you've completely lost perspective from continually being ground down. Awful.

 

[Weathergal]

What is going on with American figure skating abuses and letting that pervert doctor run wild for 20 years with USA gymnastics?
The top people and the FBI swept everything under the rug about nassar. Do other countries have these same sexual abuse and harrassment problems with their athletes? I'd think if Russia had the same problems with figure skaters being sexually abused and harassed and their gymnasts being sexually abused and harassed we would have heard about it at nauseum for decades.

Also American male pair skaters have had issues over the years with abuse of women and we just know the tip of the iceberg about this stuff it probably runs much deeper.

The only way to fix it is to give people serious jail sentences and not let them slide for decades.

There was no excuse for Larry Nasser to get away with what he did from 1997 to 2017. All parties should be deeply ashamed.

Don't kid yourself for a second that this is just a U.S. figure skating or U.S. sports problem.

In response to the article, I can only imagine the hours and days and months of abuse that would have led up to Tarah (and Danny) staying with a coach who actually made Tarah feel so badly about herself that she slit her wrist, or that they would for one second accept a coach telling them that Tarah isn't allowed to speak. You only get to the point of accepting that kind of thing after you've completely lost perspective from continually being ground down. Awful.

Great points rain.

I would also add that sadly not only are toxic coaching environments not limited to the US, they're also not limited to artistic gymnastics and figure skating. There have been coaching scandals at the elite levels of US swimming, Japanese judo, and many others.

 

[Scott512]

Don't kid yourself for a second that this is just a U.S. figure skating or U.S. sports problem.

In response to the article, I can only imagine the hours and days and months of abuse that would have led up to Tarah (and Danny) staying with a coach who actually made Tarah feel so badly about herself that she slit her wrist, or that they would for one second accept a coach telling them that Tarah isn't allowed to speak. You only get to the point of accepting that kind of thing after you've completely lost perspective from continually being ground down. Awful.

I don't kid myself but American gymnastics and figure skating has had a problem for a long time that's been covered up.

Also maybe as a woman you can tell me your perspective when Anastasia Gubanova was expelled from CSKA skating rink in 2019 she was only 16 years old. She gave flowers to her coach and she thought they parted on good terms but the coach Buyanova went public that Nasyta was expelled for being overweight. The coach well over 50 years old publicly humiliated a 16 year old in what some have said was body shaming. I think these coaches who have been around a long time don't really understand or care what's happening with young people what their difficulties are going through puberty being fond of someone of the opposite sex or same sex. The coaches clearly use these kids to become successful. And it may be they will be very aggressive verbally. What Tara had to go through was worse than being publicly humiliated with being overweight. I hope the powers that be in all countries will get on top of these issues and not allow the coaches to do whatever they want and say whatever they want. But the price of success is real and it's costly.

 

[ladyjane]

Well I know not everyone likes TSL, but this conversation with Christine Brennan is very revealing (and confirms to me that Tarah is a hero).

 

[anonymoose_au]

Don't kid yourself for a second that this is just a U.S. figure skating or U.S. sports problem.

Yes, we have our own problems here in Australia with gymnastics and swimming.

It's just really sad. Do these coaches start out bad? Or does something happen in the competitive environment that brings out this horrible behaviour.

I almost hope it's the latter because while it's terrible to think anyone could become a monster under the wrong circumstances it does mean these circumstances can be looked into and prevented.

But if it's something innate with coaching itself that attracts bad people that could be harder to fix. Because most bad people don't go around declaring themselves as such. So it's usually not until someone's been hurt that they can be stopped and that's one person too many really.

 

[skatesofgold]

Yes, we have our own problems here in Australia with gymnastics and swimming.

It's just really sad. Do these coaches start out bad? Or does something happen in the competitive environment that brings out this horrible behaviour.

I almost hope it's the latter because while it's terrible to think anyone could become a monster under the wrong circumstances it does mean these circumstances can be looked into and prevented.

But if it's something innate with coaching itself that attracts bad people that could be harder to fix. Because most bad people don't go around declaring themselves as such. So it's usually not until someone's been hurt that they can be stopped and that's one person too many really.

Great Britain has issues, too, in gymnastics.

 

[ladyjane]

The same in The Netherlands with gymnastics.

 

[cathlen]

This is why we all should talk more about mental health and mental abuse. It's horrifying. There should be rules defined what coaches can and can't do by the rink or something. I'm pretty sure this happens i na lot of countries, it just doesn't make the news. Tarah is really brave for speaking about it. I'm sorry she had to go through this.

 

[skylark]

This is why we all should talk more about mental health and mental abuse. It's horrifying. There should be rules defined what coaches can and can't do by the rink or something. I'm pretty sure this happens i na lot of countries, it just doesn't make the news. Tarah is really brave for speaking about it. I'm sorry she had to go through this.

It's a hugely different aspect of mental health, but in my mind the following is related and could make a big difference. Michal Brezina did an interview last month when he talked, among other things, about establishing a relationship with a mental health coach. Up to that time, he'd never felt he needed it, but

after the 2021 World Championships, when the Czech skating federation hired a mental health counseling firm to consult with the Czech figure skaters. “They said: ‘We signed a contract, and it would be nice if you talk with him ..."

Michal now feels this coaching is an essential part of his training. Even when he has a physical challenge, talking to his mental coach allows him to re-frame his thoughts.

Michal Brezina: ‘Working with the mental health coach helped a lot’ – Figure Skaters Online

figureskatersonline.com

It seems to me that it would be very wise of USFS and other feds to follow the Czech fed's example. Sign a contract. Encourage skaters to use the service. If Tarah had had this opportunity, maybe it would have been the safe place she needed at the time. At the very least, such a counselor might have interfered with her thinking it was all hopeless, and prevented her self-harm. She knows now, and it seems from her remarks in the article that she knew even at the time, that she was struggling with her mental health.

 

[Ic3Rabbit]

It's a hugely different aspect of mental health, but in my mind the following is related and could make a big difference. Michal Brezina did an interview last month when he talked, among other things, about establishing a relationship with a mental health coach. Up to that time, he'd never felt he needed it, but



Michal now feels this coaching is an essential part of his training. Even when he has a physical challenge, talking to his mental coach allows him to re-frame his thoughts.

Michal Brezina: ‘Working with the mental health coach helped a lot’ – Figure Skaters Online

figureskatersonline.com

It seems to me that it would be very wise of USFS and other feds to follow the Czech fed's example. Sign a contract. Encourage skaters to use the service. If Tarah had had this opportunity, maybe it would have been the safe place she needed at the time. At the very least, such a counselor might have interfered with her thinking it was all hopeless, and prevented her self-harm. She knows now, and it seems from her remarks in the article that she knew even at the time, that she was struggling with her mental health.

Many US and International figure skaters have a Sports Psychologist as part of their training "team." Jeremy Abbott spoke alot about this when he was competing.

 

[skylark]

Many US and International figure skaters have a Sports Psychologist as part of their training "team." Jeremy Abbott spoke alot about this when he was competing.

Thank you! I was trying to remember that term, 'sports psychologist.' I wonder if there's a slight difference between that person and a 'mental health coach'? It seemed like when I heard people discussing their sports psychologist, it was specifically about competition nerves and developing the mental strength to compete. Whereas mental health has come to encompass a larger range of things, like eating disorders. Not that a sports psychologist might not cover all the subjects. It's just an interesting distinction in terms to me.

 

[moonvine]

Thank you! I was trying to remember that term, 'sports psychologist.' I wonder if there's a slight difference between that person and a 'mental health coach'? It seemed like when I heard people discussing their sports psychologist, it was specifically about competition nerves and developing the mental strength to compete. Whereas mental health has come to encompass a larger range of things, like eating disorders. Not that a sports psychologist might not cover all the subjects. It's just an interesting distinction in terms to me.

I want to say Gracie said something about this but can’t remember.

 

[cathlen]

Many US and International figure skaters have a Sports Psychologist as part of their training "team." Jeremy Abbott spoke alot about this when he was competing.

Yup, but in Tarah's case it went beyond sports problem. It started with sport but end up being bigger problem than that. I agree that it could be a good start though, and maybe sports psychologist would direct her to reach for outside help as well that would prevent self-harm. Anyway, I hope Tarah's story will help young skaters to reach for help if they need it.

 

[Ic3Rabbit]

Yup, but in Tarah's case it went beyond sports problem. It started with sport but end up being bigger problem than that. I agree that it could be a good start though, and maybe sports psychologist would direct her to reach for outside help as well that would prevent self-harm. Anyway, I hope Tarah's story will help young skaters to reach for help if they need it.

Yes, and that was my point. A Sports Psychologist is a good thing to have for skaters to support them mentally and gosh forbid something happen terrible like in Tarah's case, the Sports Psychologist could be the start to her help or getting her or any skater further help.

 

[Baron Vladimir]

Thank you! I was trying to remember that term, 'sports psychologist.' I wonder if there's a slight difference between that person and a 'mental health coach'? It seemed like when I heard people discussing their sports psychologist, it was specifically about competition nerves and developing the mental strength to compete. Whereas mental health has come to encompass a larger range of things, like eating disorders. Not that a sports psychologist might not cover all the subjects. It's just an interesting distinction in terms to me.

Sport psychologist is a persona who can deal with everything psychology is dealing with as a part of his/her education (and mental health is a big part of that education). Coach (mental or another) doesn't have prime education in psychology (or certainly not at that level). Mental coach can deal with the competitions nerves, but not with those kind of disorders/malfunctions. Some good/educated sport psychologist can.

 

[rain]

Yes, we have our own problems here in Australia with gymnastics and swimming.

It's just really sad. Do these coaches start out bad? Or does something happen in the competitive environment that brings out this horrible behaviour.

I almost hope it's the latter because while it's terrible to think anyone could become a monster under the wrong circumstances it does mean these circumstances can be looked into and prevented.

But if it's something innate with coaching itself that attracts bad people that could be harder to fix. Because most bad people don't go around declaring themselves as such. So it's usually not until someone's been hurt that they can be stopped and that's one person too many really.

I don't think there's a one-size-fits-all answer as to why it happens.

I think some coaches, as you put it, do probably start out as bullies and continue in that vein.
But I also think when we're talking about the kind of systemic problems that so many sports in so many countries encounter there's often an intergeneration aspect to it. A "winning" or "successful" coach is abusive, then all of the people coming up under them learn that this is the road to success and emulate what they themselves were taught when they become coaches. And so on until this is just the accepted way to earn medals or championships. Pushy parents willing to put their kids through absolutely anything for "success" in their chosen sport can also be a huge part of the problem. Also upper levels of management within federations and governing bodies who don't care how the sausage is made.

Basically it's the old "my parents beat me and I turned out fine" mentality.

 

[skylark]

Yes, and that was my point. A Sports Psychologist is a good thing to have for skaters to support them mentally and gosh forbid something happen terrible like in Tarah's case, the Sports Psychologist could be the start to her help or getting her or any skater further help.

Well, my point was that I think it's really cool that the Czech skating federation hired a mental health coach and encouraged skaters to make a contact. It seems to me that would be a good investment of money, considering what they're dealing with now.

But most of all, it would be a good investment by way of caring for the skaters. Maybe there's already such a system in place and I just haven't heard about it.