Congratulations to Tanith Belbin & Charlie White!

[TMC]

Yes, this is correct. I know this from having edited newspaper "society" stories for many years. As a married woman, she could be Tanith Belbin, Tanith Belbin White, Tanith Belbin-White or Mrs. Charlie White. (It used to be automatically Mrs. Charlie White, but then papers started asking for the woman's choice, which added even more work to it.) But it would never be Mrs. Tanith White; that denotes divorced. If (heaven forbid) she were to become a widow, her name would still not be Mrs. Tanith White; she would retain the name used previously. As an additional detail: when both names are used (such as an engagement announcement of a child), the old form would have been Mr. and Mrs. Charlie White. These days, if married, the parents might instead use Charlie and Tanith White. If written as Charlie White and Tanith White, it would denote divorced. It gets confusing when there are different last names: Charlie White and Tanith Belbin, or Charlie White and Tanith Belbin-White, could mean either married or divorced.

Congratulations Charlie and Tanith!



^^This is very interesting, thank you! The "Mrs Tanith White" = divorced is news to me!

Where I come from, most women still take their husbands last name, partly for convenience's sake (future kids, the whole family share the same name). But gradually it's changing; Among my acquaintance, most took the husbands name, some use a hyphenated version (Belbin White would not be allowed here for some reason, in Sweden it's ok) and some kept their own. In the case of 4 of my friend-couples, the bride wanted to keep her own name but the hubby was more traditional so took her name, because "a family should share one last name!".

In the case of divorce, some women keep their new surname - especially if they have kids - some revert back to the old one. Some keep it simply because they like it and they really disliked their original. One of my friends kept her new surname after her divorce, because it was shorter and matched her first name nicely

I was never fond of my surname so I was super pleased when I could take my husband's. (I did ask him first if he wanted me to, of course). I think I'd keep it even if we divorced.

But, everywhere here I'm "Mrs TMC Myhusbandssurname", and this tells everybody that I'm totally married to this guy with the unusual surname, never divorced.

I love this board so much because you always learn something new here

 

[ManyCairns]

Yes, this is correct. I know this from having edited newspaper "society" stories for many years. As a married woman, she could be Tanith Belbin, Tanith Belbin White, Tanith Belbin-White or Mrs. Charlie White. (It used to be automatically Mrs. Charlie White, but then papers started asking for the woman's choice, which added even more work to it.) But it would never be Mrs. Tanith White; that denotes divorced. If (heaven forbid) she were to become a widow, her name would still not be Mrs. Tanith White; she would retain the name used previously. As an additional detail: when both names are used (such as an engagement announcement of a child), the old form would have been Mr. and Mrs. Charlie White. These days, if married, the parents might instead use Charlie and Tanith White. If written as Charlie White and Tanith White, it would denote divorced. It gets confusing when there are different last names: Charlie White and Tanith Belbin, or Charlie White and Tanith Belbin-White, could mean either married or divorced.

Too true, though in my past experience this usage would be for more formal written social communications for the most part, I think.

I mean, my mother (born 1935 and a Southern woman obsessed with etiquette) always introduced herself (if she were by herself and not with my dad) by her birth first name and her married last name in most casual conversational settings. She said, "I'm Jane Doe" when her maiden name was Smith, not, "I'm Mrs. John Doe" unless using Dad's name established a connection or something.

Anyway, in my personal experience I am seeing fewer women keeping their last name or hyphenating now than I did in the late 80s when I was in college and early 90s when I was in graduate school. It may be more a factor of not being in academic circles at all any more rather than the time period, but I nearly dropped my jaw when a young female veterinarian I know got married two years ago and changed her name. I was really surprised she didn't at least hyphenate because she was already established in her profession under her birth last name.

I really feel the name changing harks back to times when women were the property of their husbands after marriage, couldn't own property themselves, had no legal standing. Or more recently couldn't vote, or amazingly enough didn't make the same wages as men for the same work --- oops!

Anyway big congrats to Charlie and also big congrats (not felicitations) to Tanith also -- so modern am I lol! Yep, felicitations is what one once said to a woman, and congratulations to a man.

I would love to see pics of the entire wedding party, though, not just the happy couple. I couldn't find any though -- did anyone else? I want to see Meryl and the other attendants!

 

[TMC]

I'm sitting here laughing. Why is this even an issue? Must be a slow news day. Why does anyone CARE what Tanith calls herself? Has nothing whatsoever to do with figure skating.

I think some of the thread became a general conversation about names, and Tanith & Charlie just functioned as examples in the discussion. In that people aren't talking about them, just chatting about married names in general. I found it interesting and informative

 

[skatedreamer]

I'm with rallycairn on all points. And yes, I soooooooo want to see more pics, especially a full-length shot of Tanith's dress.

Most importantly, wishing Tanith & Charlie a lifetime of happiness!

 

[ice coverage]

For those who are interested in the discussion:
I would note that the officiant at Michelle Kwan's wedding made a reference to the groom and bride as "Mr. and Mrs. Clay Pell."

I'm sitting here laughing. Why is this even an issue? Must be a slow news day. Why does anyone CARE what Tanith calls herself? Has nothing whatsoever to do with figure skating.

Not sure if you are aware of the evolution of the thread:
The discussion has to do with the original title for this thread. The original title clearly was well-intentioned as a celebration of Saturday's newlyweds, but after someone frowned upon the wording of the title, a sidebar discussion ensued (at the same time that every single one of us is happy for Charlie and Tanith).

The thread title was changed (by the mods, AFAIK) to genericize it to its current wording -- which does not even allude to their wedding. (LOL, we still can use this thread when their next doggie joins the family or whatever.)

But you are absolutely correct that none of us know what would or would not please Tanith herself.

Yes, this is correct. I know this from having edited newspaper "society" stories for many years. As a married woman, she could be Tanith Belbin, Tanith Belbin White, Tanith Belbin-White or Mrs. Charlie White. (It used to be automatically Mrs. Charlie White, but then papers started asking for the woman's choice, which added even more work to it.) But it would never be Mrs. Tanith White; that denotes divorced. If (heaven forbid) she were to become a widow, her name would still not be Mrs. Tanith White; she would retain the name used previously. As an additional detail: when both names are used (such as an engagement announcement of a child), the old form would have been Mr. and Mrs. Charlie White. These days, if married, the parents might instead use Charlie and Tanith White. If written as Charlie White and Tanith White, it would denote divorced. It gets confusing when there are different last names: Charlie White and Tanith Belbin, or Charlie White and Tanith Belbin-White, could mean either married or divorced.

Thx for the explanation, Moxiejan .

I would add:
In everyday life, simply "Tanith White" by itself would not suggest divorce -- to me. But "Mrs. Tanith White" would. (Again, I mean in everyday life. I do understand what you are saying about how the parents are named in an engagement announcement.)

Congratulations Charlie and Tanith!



^^This is very interesting, thank you!

....In the case of 4 of my friend-couples, the bride wanted to keep her own name but the hubby was more traditional so took her name, because "a family should share one last name!". .....

I love this board so much because you always learn something new here

Four husbands among your friends took their wives' names?

Although such decisions are not completely unheard of in the U.S., I am pleasantly surprised by the (high, IMO) number within your personal circle.

Do I recall correctly that you live in Finland?

 

[Mrs. P]

I did the same thing as my mother. I put my maiden name as part of my middle name and took my husband's name.

Professionally, I still go by maiden name, so there are whole groups of people who still refer to me by my maiden name though legally, I took my husband's name. I'm not really offended if you call me either.

 

[charmblade]

I had thought that it was fairly common for women to keep their maiden surname and when I got married less than 2 years ago I kept my name. But it amazed me that pretty much everyone assumes that I changed it. So I took a look through my Facebook friends and found that out of the couple hundred married female friends I have that only 3 kept their maiden names. So it's definitely not as common as I thought. Now granted most of these friends are from the south where I think more women change their names. But even here in Boston people usually assume I changed mine.

 

[Buttercup]

Most of my friends either hyphenated or kept their names. I know two couples in which both the wife and the husband use the hyphenated name.

Obviously, people should just do whatever works for them. At the moment, Tanith's Twitter suggests that what works for her, at least publicly, is to stay Tanith Belbin.

 

[Mrs. P]

That doesn't surprise me at all. When you have a well-established brand with your current name, it makes sense to keep that name (even if you change it legally). That was certainly the case for me.

There are some countries where it's normal NOT to change one's surname. Korea comes to mind.

 

[Alvyne]

In the province of Quebec, women don't take their husband's name. It's in the civil code (we have a different one than the rest of Canada).

oh and congratulations to Tanith and Charlie.

 

[el henry]

In the province of Quebec, women don't take their husband's name. It's in the civil code (we have a different one than the rest of Canada).

oh and congratulations to Tanith and Charlie.

Merci, Alvyne, I did not know that about the Quebec civil code.

I know this is severe thread drift, but I am finding these stories fascinating. Four couples where the husband took the wife's name: I only know one, where they hyphenated for both.

As old 60s liberals/70s rabblerousers who married semi-late (30s) in life, spousal unit and I each kept our own names, legally, professionally, personally. It does make for long intros sometimes, when calling folks who only know one of you (Hi, I'm Jane Doe, John Roe's wife), but that's the price we pay. Purely anecdotally and FWIW, spousal unit as a university professor saw more and more of his female students taking their husband's name when they married as we advanced into the 2000s.

I also remember when congratulations to a woman was considered declasse (as if the woman had nabbed herself a man). Congratulations and felicitations, Charlie and Tanith!

 

[ice coverage]

Thanks to all for the interesting information and points of view .
(BTW, I am another who was accustomed to the distinction btwn felicitations for the bride vs. congratulations for the groom.)

What I really want to see (with photos ) is whether Finn and DJ had roles in the ceremony .

... Obviously, people should just do whatever works for them. At the moment, Tanith's Twitter suggests that what works for her, at least publicly, is to stay Tanith Belbin.

Given that she was married only on Saturday, Tanith's Twitter account might or might not be indicative of anything.
Even if(???) she intends to change her Twitter, hopefully Charlie and she have been too busy celebrating (and starting their honeymoon?) for her to do so .

Another thought: Tanith has a verified Twitter account. My understanding is that any modification to a verified account nullifies the verification. Getting re-verified would require jumping through hoops for a second time. (I don't know exactly how onerous it is to re-verify, but I have seen anecdotal references to the hassle thereof.)
[In a similar vein, Ashley has said that she has stuck with @AshWagner2010 all these yrs b/c changing her ID would require changing her password, which she does not want to do -- for fear of forgetting a new one.]

So at least for now, it is easier for Tanith to do nothing. Whether any change to her Twitter account will be forthcoming later is anyone's guess.
In any case, the absence of any change never will tell us anything one way or the other about how she would like to be known socially among her close friends and family (as opposed to well-meaning fans all over the world like us :yes.

 

[TMC]

In the province of Quebec, women don't take their husband's name. It's in the civil code (we have a different one than the rest of Canada).

Is it that they can't legally do it?

Until the mid 80s, a woman had to take the husband's last name in my country. That was the law. Ridic.

 

[Buttercup]

Given that she was married only on Saturday, Tanith's Twitter account might or might not be indicative of anything.
Even if(???) she intends to change her Twitter, hopefully Charlie and she have been too busy celebrating (and starting their honeymoon?) for her to do so .

Another thought: Tanith has a verified Twitter account. My understanding is that any modification to a verified account nullifies the verification. Getting re-verified would require jumping through hoops for a second time. (I don't know exactly how onerous it is to re-verify, but I have seen anecdotal references to the hassle thereof.)

So at least for now, it is easier to do nothing. Whether any change to her Twitter account will be forthcoming later is anyone's guess.
In any case, the absence of any change does not tell us anything one way or the other about how she would like to be known socially among her close friends and family (as opposed to well-meaning fans all over the world like us :yes.

She's already tweeted several times since the wedding. Regarding verified accounts, people make changes to those all the time. For instance, baseball brothers Melvin Upton Jr. (formerly BJ) and Justin Upton both changed Twitter handles in the past few months. I find Mrs. P's explanation considerably more likely. Tanith is known professionally known as Tanith Belbin in skating and in her media career. She may change her name in her private life, or hyphenate, but she's built a brand. Look at the example of past skaters and you'll see plenty who kept the names they were known by during their careers.

The bottom line is that unless Tanith indicates that she wishes to be known as Tanith White, it's inappropriate to call her by any name but Belbin.

 

[oleada]

Congrats to Tanith and Charlie! They are a gorgeous couple and I wish them many years of happiness together. I love her comment about the bridesmaids.

As far as last names goes, I don't plan on changing mine. It's not done in my culture. In my country, you would add "De Husbandslastname" to your last name. De is a possessive, and tradition has really fallen out of favor. It was never a big deal anyway - my mother and grandmother always kept their maiden names. None of my Colombian friends have added their husbands last. So I am always surprised to see that most of my American friends (I've lived in the U.S. For 10 years) change their names

I don't plan on changing mine, but my boyfriend also has a long, multi syllabic Eastern European last name ending in -ski and I just think it sounds silly with my super Spanish first name, lol

 

[jenaj]

I don't claim to be up to date on etiquette of 2015.

But I am 99% sure that not so long ago, "Mrs. Tanith White" would have signified that Tanith is a divorcee who once had been married to a man by the name of White. Perhaps still true, depending on whom you ask.

Not anymore because it would be Ms. Tanith White.

 

[Celine]

I was hoping their adorable dogs were in attendance? DJ and the little new pup.

Regardless, congratulations to Tanith and Charlie!

 

[ice coverage]

She's already tweeted several times since the wedding. Regarding verified accounts, people make changes to those all the time. For instance, baseball brothers Melvin Upton Jr. (formerly BJ) and Justin Upton both changed Twitter handles in the past few months. ...

I had made note above that it is possible to get re-verified by Twitter . Never said it was impossible to make changes.

I don't see how Tanith's happy post-wedding tweets exclude the possibility that she will be changing her Twitter account now that she is married. YMMV.

Not anymore because it would be Ms. Tanith White.

I like humor , but sorry, your post doesn't make sense to me even as a joke ... even though I know the origin of Ms.
But no biggie.

All happiness to Charlie and Tanith .

 

[Alvyne]

Is it that they can't legally do it?

Until the mid 80s, a woman had to take the husband's last name in my country. That was the law. Ridic.

No, they can't legally take their husbands name since that law was passed. I was pretty young, but I remember that it was weird not to have the same last name as my mom anymore. It created the double last names trend, with women wanting to give their kids their name too so they have something in common, but that's pretty rare now.

 

[invisiblespiral]

Anyways, congratulations!