Alina Gorbacheva missing - found safe

[icewhite]

Calling it a rebellion that will be looked into may be why she wanted to get away from her current life in the first place. If the adults around her listen to her concerns sincerely instead of acting like she needs to be fixed so she can go back to complying with their commands, they’ll probably get through to her more easily. Maybe she wants to quit figure skating or switch coaches or stop dieting or who knows what.

I just read she says everything's fine, it had nothing to do with figure skating, she's back with her coach... and her family I think...
Makes me feel worse, to be honest.
Of course on the one hand it's private, on the other, it's not. I hope this really gets looked into. What if the situation is really bad for her and people are now only blaming it on her being a "rebellious teenager"?

 

[Scott512]

It is perfectly normal for 16-year-olds to walk around on their own, go places, run errands, make their own medical and paperwork appointments, etc. and the fact so many Americans think otherwise and believe every second of a child’s life has to be monitored and supervised for their own safety until they graduate from college is the reason anxiety disorders and depression are so prevalent among American youth. When people aren’t allowed to take ownership of their own lives when they’re supposed to, their psychological and social development suffers.

American panics about stranger danger and other violent crime are both unjustified given the statistical prevalence of such incidents and even more out of place outside of America. The reactions and emotions you describe here are not normal; they’re paranoid and the product of concerted media campaigns meant to make you feel like the world is a hostile place and every person you see is a potential killer. These sentiments are very profitable in the US, where people buy guns, security cameras, armored SUVs, tracking apps, etc. out of fear, but they are poison.

All true. Sad but true. As an American we face crimes and kidnappings other countries do not face I gather at anywhere close to the same rate. Our population is only 330 million but we have by far the biggest prison population in the world. Not good.

As for Alina I hope she can get back on the ice when the time is right. Figure skating is a very dangerous sport so her on ice focus has to be right. But right now she needs some love and understanding.

 

[JimR]

I just read she says everything's fine, it had nothing to do with figure skating, she's back with her coach... and her family I think...
Makes me feel worse, to be honest.
Of course on the one hand it's private, on the other, it's not. I hope this really gets looked into. What if the situation is really bad for her and people are now only blaming it on her being a "rebellious teenager"?

I know the conspiracy theory is the coach wrote out the Instagram post, but maybe she overreacted to something like people her age can do. Alina might be quite fiery and headstrong she's already had a feud with the coach and made up. I read she's been travelling on her own, preparing meals, washing clothes, doing tasks a mother would normally do since she was 9. She's probably quite independent despite the youthful appearance. Maybe she has mental illness that she would keep hidden from the public for good reason to avoid stigmatisation or gossip, and this is a manifestation of it. I think Fedchenko gets investigated either way. It does seem like her family life was never easy with one side of the family completely against her pursuing figure skating (they were probably right when you look at risk vs reward). It seems very complicated.

 

[icewhite]

I know the conspiracy theory is the coach wrote out the Instagram post, but maybe she overreacted to something like people her age can do. Alina might be quite fiery and headstrong she's already had a feud with the coach and made up. I read she's been travelling on her own, preparing meals, washing clothes, doing tasks a mother would normally do since she was 9. She's probably quite independent despite the youthful appearance. Maybe she has mental illness that she would keep hidden from the public for good reason to avoid stigmatisation or gossip, and this is a manifestation of it. I think Fedchenko gets investigated either way. It does seem like her family life was never easy with one side of the family completely against her pursuing figure skating (they were probably right when you look at risk vs reward). It seems very complicated.

I don't want to engage in any conspiracy theories. All I know is that teenagers who run away usually don't have a mental illness, they usually have problems at home. And while they may be independent in many regards they usually still need emotional support. Such problems might be complicated with no party simply "guilty", but let's say it's difficult for me to just believe everything is fine and it has nothing to do with figure skating and the coach and her family when her living situation is unusual in the first place and statistics would say differently. The most likely other cause I can think of is love-sickness, which can be overwhelming and all consuming at such an age even to a point where you don't feel like other people matter anymore. All the other likely causes involve the adults around her. If she had problems with other skaters or teenagers or with school, if things were fine with the coach and her family, she would have been able to go to them and tell them. Obviously she didn't feel she could go there.
Now, I will stop speculating, but I really don't think there is any reason to suspect a "mental illness" here, and all reason to investigate the adults and their behaviour.

 

[lariko]

Now, I will stop speculating, but I really don't think there is any reason to suspect a "mental illness" here, and all reason to investigate the adults and their behavior.

100% this. Alina acted as someone who doesn't have a safe space to be alone or is afraid to ask for one. Everyone needs a safe space like this.

 

[LolaSkatesInJapan]

It is perfectly normal for 16-year-olds to walk around on their own, go places, run errands, make their own medical and paperwork appointments, etc. and the fact so many Americans think otherwise and believe every second of a child’s life has to be monitored and supervised for their own safety until they graduate from college is the reason anxiety disorders and depression are so prevalent among American youth. When people aren’t allowed to take ownership of their own lives when they’re supposed to, their psychological and social development suffers.

American panics about stranger danger and other violent crime are both unjustified given the statistical prevalence of such incidents and even more out of place outside of America. The reactions and emotions you describe here are not normal; they’re paranoid and the product of concerted media campaigns meant to make you feel like the world is a hostile place and every person you see is a potential killer. These sentiments are very profitable in the US, where people buy guns, security cameras, armored SUVs, tracking apps, etc. out of fear, but they are poison.

When I was 16 I was living in another country (Russia, by the way), ALONE (in the school dorm, as in alone without parents/family), for my ballet training. On days off I had permission to go out on the street alone, or with ballet friends I made there. As it did any other international students and local students of my class who were roughly the same age.

I find it abnormal that a 16, 15, 14 year old can't go alone anywhere because there's fear of a gun crime, violence and others.

And I find it even more abnormal to see so many posts already blaming the coach, the family and all kinds of malicious theories even doubting the Instagram post/announcement.

 

[GS Forum Staff]

We are very glad she was found and is safe; no kidnapping, sex-trafficking, etc.